Obama Thinks MS & NC Laws Are Wrong

Brian Terry and Christopher Stevens were unfortunately unavailable for comment.

Obama Finally Saves Someone's Job...

And it turns out to be a nutty would-be dictator in Latin America. Awesome. Amateur Hour continues.

Bad News on the War On Terror

The Director of the GI Joe movie says "It's not a George Bush movie, it's a Barack Obama movie."

In other words, expect Duke to wait three days after COBRA attacks, then decide that we don't want to be seen as meddling.

I Love the Dos Equis Commercials

I can't help it. "Even when he's on the wrong side of the tracks, he's on the right side." It's like Chuck Norris played by Ricardo Montalban. The conceit is that there's nobody cooler or smarter on the planet than the Spanish guy with the beard.

The commercials are so awesome that the President decided that he had to be in one. So he invited two regular guys and Joe Biden to film it...

Oh, wait, that wasn't it?

See, here's the thing. "The Most Intersting Man in the World" got replaced this week by "The Most Self-Important Man in the World." Thankfully, according to the press, President Obama has healed the nations' racial wounds and moved us past race.

But wait...didn't he do that last summer, too?

Frankly, the whole "post-racial" thing was overblown, much like everything about Obama. Obama is a talented opportunist, a man with the ability to make cutting your own hand off sound perfectly reasonable. But you can only go to the well so many times, like a flamethrowing pitcher who never learns another pitch. Eventually, they catch up to you. And that's started to happen; the Obama Show is wearing itself thin.

Look on the bright side, though, Mr. President. You now have your own little Dos Equis statement: "He can heal the same racial wound...twice."

One for the "Wait A Second" Files

Two weeks ago, meddling in Iran's elections-which were a farce, you know it, I know it, and the Mullahs know it-was the worst thing in the world. Couldn't help at all. Never gonna do it. Chalk it all up as "rigorous debate" amongst the Iranians. (Who knew debate class could now be taken with sniper rifles, internet jamming equipment, and random disappearances? Fun for everyone!)

Of course, the same can't be said of the situation in Honduras. That required immediate denouncing, even though a Chavez-style takeover was the plan of the president there. Everyone else in the country apparently was staging a coup-designed to STOP THIS GUY FROM BECOMING A DICTATOR. Those guys? Staging a coup. No debate here. Just coup.

Amateurs.

Where To Begin on The Egypt Speech?

So many things, so little time...

Nuclear Power for Iran? No Problem! Nuclear Power for the US? What, are you crazy or something?

People building houses=People getting shoved in gas chambers.

Can't tell others whether or not to have nukes...but Iran, you can't have nukes.

While there was a lot of good in the speech, is it really anything we haven't heard before? Religion of peace, not at war with Islam, Democracy is great...wasn't there some other guy who made that speech a million times? The main difference is this time, the speaker gets to brag on his Muslim heritage, and make a few empty plattitudes, plus mangle history. You know, basically make the typical Obama speech. Might they listen? Here's hoping.

Bottom line, Obama is still campaigning. And that's great for him. For the rest of us...that's up in the air.

Your Obama Moment of Genius

Today, The One said that the US is one of the world's largest Muslim countries.

No, seriously.

A quick check confirms the US has the 56th largest Muslim population in the world, at somewhere around 3 million. Which is less than Burkina Faso.

Much like their jobs numbers, I think they just pull these out of the air sometimes.

Wow, Just What America Needs

A pushy, mean liberal Supreme Court justice! One who tries to shout down the opposition! One who is just a bit racialist! And one who thinks (by her own admission) the courts should make policy!

Why didn't he just nominate Jeremiah Wright?

With Apologies to Pastor Martin Neimoller...

"In America, first they came for the AIG executives, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't an AIG executive;
And then they came for the solvent banks, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't a banker;
And then they came for the auto creditors, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't an auto creditor;
And then...they came for me...and by that time there was no one left to speak up."

Pardon me if I'm not excited that the executive branch has decided to start tearing up contracts left and right and seizing property.

A Hundred Million Dollars

"Geithy, we got a problem," the boss said.

"Sir, I'm aware of that. I've been working diligently toward fixing it. Of course, if I had a little more help..."

"Look, I'm getting to that. These e-mails to Jessica Beil aren't going to write themselves, you know," the boss replied. "There's all kinds of problems, though. Do you know about these Pirates?"

"Yes, sir, I have. Terrible situation, but our Seals sure fixed it, eh? Great call," Geithy retorted, smiling. The boss shook his head.

"They're back! I don't believe it! And do you know they took two out of three from the Braves this weekend! I don't even know what they took, but I won't stand for this! Do they have no decency?"

"Sir, I don't think we're talking about the same pirates. The ones you're talking about are in Pittsburgh..."

"They're in Pittsburgh! Oh my God! What are we gonna do? Pirates and those redneck clingers? This is going to be a disaster of epic proportions!"

"Sir, these Pirates play baseball. Not very well, you know."

"Nationalize the Yankees, then. We'll show them that nobody messes with this country, especially with the national pasttime! What'll that take?" The boss looks angry.

Geithy looks confused. "Sir, it would take...I don't know, a hundred million dollars just to pay Alex Rodriguez' salary. And he's just one..."

"Then you got it, Geithy. We're gonna show them. If it takes a hundred million, it takes a hundred million. Figure it out, huh?"

Congratulations on Your Bracket, Mr. President...

Now get to work filling out your Treasury Department, you lazy bum.

Nothing Says Egomania

Like giving the Queen of England (not Great Britain or the UK, apparently) an IPod with your own speeches on it.

On the other hand, nothing seems more craven than a bow this deep to the Saudi King:



You know, someone related a story to me recently. The first time the Kennedys met the British monarch, Jackie asked the Chief of Protocol (which the Obamas didn't even know existed) if she should curtsey to the Queen. He replied no, that spouses and heads of state do not curtsey to heads of state. Several years later, after the assassination, she met the Queen again, and did curtsey. Her response was, "I'm no longer the spouse of a head of state."

Over their heads much? Yeah. Clueless bumbling amateurs.

Scenes From The White House

The door opens. Its Axelrod. The President is kicked back in his office. Its a balmy 80 degrees inside. His shoes are off, and he's playing Madden on the XBox.

"Mr. President," Axelrod says. He waits. Nothing.

"Mr. President," Axelrod says again. Still nothing. He pulls a tape recorder from his pocket, and presses the PLAY button.

"BARRY!!!!!" comes the shrill voice from the recorder. This snaps the president awake from his daze.

"You gotta stop doing that, bro," the President says to Axelrod. "Man, I thought she was really here. That tech is sweet huh? We need to get some of that to the CIA."

"Yes, sir, I'll see to it. Um, sir, about those Treasury appointments..." Axelrod trails off.

"What is it this time, man? I've got the Bears in the playoffs here. I'm a freaking savant at this!"

"Sir, there seems to be a problem with a couple of them."

"What? Is it taxes again? Sheesh, do we need to nationalize Turbotax while I'm here?"

Axelrod looks frumpled. "Sir, it's not taxes. Its..." he trails off for a moment. "Sir, Mike Tirico, Tony Romo, Stan Van Gundy, and Skip Bayless. Really, sir. You can't be serious."

"What? They all have made serious bank. And that's what we need in these uncertain times, bro. We have to give Geity all the help he can get. I mean, come on! Skip Bayless has got to know something about making money. He's always talking about the NBA and stuff on ESPN. That's where you go for your money news, right, Ax Man?"

"Sir, if you could turn the game off for a minute..."

"Not a chance, man. Those sweet offseason moves I made are paying off now. McNabb and Owens together again, baby! All it cost was my entire draft the next two years! Huh! What about that, huh? Freaking awesome is what it is! Anything you got to say to me, you can say in front of Al and John."

"Sir, I must protest this. First of all, they aren't qualified, second, they haven't even been told they're being nominated."

"What? Can't they just do one of those 'I'm honored just to be nominated' things? Isn't that what people do when they get up for one of these awards?"

"Sir, these are not awards..."

"Sure they are. I'm awarding them for making a lot of loot. They're gonna help us all make loot. Now scram, Ax Man. I gotta e-mail Scarlett Johansen. You know she's up for a part in Iron Man 2? That's gonna be sweet. Then I gotta upload some pics on Facebook. Busy day, man, busy day. Hey, on your way out, could you turn up the heat a little bit? I'm from Hawaii, you know. These DC springs, man, they are something."

"Sir, what about the visit by the Japanese Emperor?"

"What about it? Go give him some chopsticks or something. I got things to do. Just let me know when the big goofy 'tard gets here, ok? Speilberg is coming in with the rough cut of Transformers 2 this afternoon. We can't get bogged down with the little stuff, you get me?"

Axelrod sighs. "Yes sir, I get you."

Amateur Hour Comes to the White House

By now, you have doubtless heard that the President and his handlers severely bungled British Prime Minister Gordon Brown's state visit last week. While President Messiah was given a number of really, really cool gifts (like a pen holder that was carved from the HMS Gannet, a ship once known as the HMS President, a ship whose purpose was to interdict slave ships, and sister ship to the HMS Resolute, which the president's desk is carved from-and the framed commission of the Resolute, Prime Minister Brown's other gift).

Of course, our President and his crack staff, who have such wonderful judgement and temperment, if you'll remember, gave the Prime Minister a set of 25 DVDs. While a nice gift, its not the kind of thing you give to a foreign head of government-especially when American-format DVDs will not play in a British-format DVD player!

Add this to the two weeks they spent basically making the Supreme Commander the First Enemy, which was about as productive as I am in a deer stand, while the economy and our financial institutions continued sliding deeper into recession. David Axelrod, the brains behind the Dear Leader, admitted as much on Fox News Sunday this weekend.

I remember when the transition was called "The Smoothest Ever." But now, the treasury has exactly one of its appointed positions filled-Tim Geithner. I know I'm stoked that Timmy Turbotax is working diligently by himself to try to get us out of our credit-induced hole. And then, last week, we got the report that the President is "overwhelmed" by the financial crisis, and that he could give a fig about foreign affairs. One of his aides even told the British they were nothing special! And this is the country that is our best ally!

Amateurs. Bumblers. There is no learning curve in the Presidency. You don't get points for trying real hard. Even if you are the Secular Messiah.

How To Spend A Trillion Dollars Without Really Trying

Little known fact: You could spend a million dollars a day every day from the birth of Christ til today and not spend as much money as Barry Messiah, Nan From San Fran, and Dingy Harry managed to cram through in two days.

The laundry list of problems I have with it is, of course, about as long as our President is on promise (though it would be nice if he was longer on delivery...pretty short so far). It was cobbled together in a back room filled with ideological homogenity, made unsearchable by its opponents, and was provided to the lobbyists on K Street (remember the good old days of...2008...when lobbyists were bad people? Why, even the Golden Boy himself decried lobbyists!) before it was provided to the members of Congress...

And of course, the awesomeness of it being passed at the start of tax season.

Never mind, too, that its short on actually creating jobs (oh, wait, we've morphed that into "save or create jobs!" so that all of the 500 million people who are losing their jobs this month according to the Speaker can be grateful to the government). Never mind that its short on the promised infrastructure improvements, or the technological upgrades, and that welfare as we knew it is back, baby. But its ok, we're told: Something had to be done, and this is definitely something!

Then again, so is a big, steaming pile of cow dung.

You know, General Patton once said that a good plan executed right now is better than a great plan executed 15 minutes from now. I get the feeling that General Patton wouldn't have thought all those millions for a mouse was a good plan for saving jobs, however.

Hope and Change, people. You are the ones we've been waiting for. Blah blah blah. Anybody out there ever heard the phrase "buyer's remorse?" Look it up, Oh Followers of the One. As for me, I think I have said caveat emptor once or twice.

Can I Just Go Ahead and Tell the IRS...

...that I'll be making an honest mistake on my taxes this year? Surely nobody will mind that.

Thank YOU, Tim Geithner.

Old King Coal Was A Merry Old Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hdi4onAQBWQ

Vote for him at your own peril, coal staters. Or people who like electricity.

Transformational Figure, Transformational Figure

Keep saying it and it might be true.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pviJvH_SE5A

Barry Messiah on our Essentially Flawed Constitution

On the Supreme Court:

"It didn’t break free from the essential constraints that were placed by the founding fathers in the Constitution."

"...as radical as I think people try to characterize the Warren Court, it wasn’t that radical."

"...the Supreme Court never ventured into the issues of redistribution of wealth"

"I think there was a tendancy to lose track of the political and community organizing and activities on the ground that are able to put together the actual coalition of powers through which you bring about redistributive change."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iivL4c_3pck

Barry Messiah: Smarter than All Those Guys Who Wrote the Constitution.

Vera Baker.

Who is Vera Baker? Listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiUZwnBhRds

Things that make you go...hmmm. I'd say this was out of character for Obama, but after you've been made out to be a strange combination of Jesus Christ, Dr. Phil and Superman, it's hard not to think that you might engage in something of that nature.

But then again, I bet Michelle can get old quick.