Back to Mayo and Davy

Today, I happend to click on the indespensible Magnolia Report blog section (speaking of which, where did my entry go?). I was treated, constant reader, to the wit and wisdom...or what passes for it, anyway...of John Mayo and David Hampton. First, to the Grand Mayonaise himself.

John Mayo wonders if Republicans have hearts, since he is (in his own mind) unjustly linked to Nan from San Fran and the Speekah. After all, Mississippi might refuse unemployment insurance money from the Multi-Generational Financial Rape Package! Of course, much like most of the Democrats spending money in Jackson, he failed to read the fine print.

In taking that money, the state is on the hook to keep those benefits at the level the Crap Sandwich known as the Stimulus sets. And since there isn't going to be a stimulus every year (thank you, God), we'll have to make up that difference. Its not a lack of a heart on the part of the Governor; its a lack of brains on the part of our legislators. All they see is a big chunk of change to spend; never mind the actual consequences.

All that leads me to wonder: If Republicans don't have hearts (since they don't care about the Workin' Man!) does that mean that Democrats don't have brains? I say this since they are really, really haphazard with other people's money. The Crap Sandwich, loaded with items that will not create one single job, is one example. The phrase, "Nissan for Rural Mississippi," also comes to mind.

Then there's David Hampton, and his recent blog post musing about how unfair it is that coaches make more money than professors at most (if not all) universities. Of course, Davy misses the point again. College professors are tenured; it takes, in most cases, nothing short of plagiarism for them to be fired. In effect, they are guaranteed lifetime employment. They work 40-hour, 5-day weeks, and are, in many cases, provided with living accomodations by their university. Their children also attend school, at least in the case of some of our state universities, at roughly half the cost of an average student. Professors, for the most part, have little to do with the recruitment of students to their school. All this, and, for the most part, they are not economic mulitpliers.

A college coach, on the other hand, is not tenured. He serves at the pleasure of his superiors, and may be fired for just about any reason at any time. He works well over 100 hours a week, and for a good part of the year, at least 6 days a week. Oftentimes, he is on the road for weeks at a time, living out of his suitcase, selling his university not only to prospective students but to their familes and communities.

The college coach is an economic multiplier. Vaught-Hemmingway Stadium at Ole Miss, which is the example that Davy used, seats 60,500 people (give or take). Assume the average price of a ticket is $25 (dear God, for a $25 ticket! I'd shoot people for that). That yields a million dollars to the university just in gate reciepts for one game. This is before concessions are sold, university paraphanalia is purchased, or panchos are necessarily purchased during rainstorms (a benefit, no doubt, of Ole Miss' stick policy-umbrellas are forbidden).

Now, think about it like this, Davy: On football Saturdays, Oxford, normally a town of 15,000 people (roughly the size of economically-moribund Greenwood) swells past Gulfport as the second-largest city in the state. If Vaught-Hemmingway stadium is filled to capacity, it outstrips Hattiesburg and Biloxi's total population (the same is true of Scott Field at Mississippi State; Roberts Stadium at USM would rank slightly below fifth-place Southaven). Even if you assume simply a day trip for most visitors, that still includes at least one meal eaten away from home, two tanks of gas purchased (along with various sundries), plus whatever tailgating supplies are purchased. This does not include those who fill hotel rooms, eat out more than once, or ply the shops around town. Remember as well that in Oxford and Starkville, there are a number of people who never attend the game. This number can be assumed to be anywhere from 5-15,000 depending on the game.

Let's not even get into the publicity that a school gets from a televised football game. The two spots narrated by Morgan Freeman that Ole Miss is fond of running during games spring to mind. When all that is said and done, the successful college coach has grown the economy by a large number. If you want to see the impact, why don't you ask Oxford or Starkville merchants how much they care for 3-win seasons in football?

But all this escapes Davy. All he sees are random numbers pulled from a pile. The compensation packages for football assistants are more than fair based upon the economic criteria above. Its just that it tugs at his poor liberal heart strings too much for him to, you know, think about it and stuff.

Surely They Didn't...

http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080812/NEWS/80811034/1001

You know, there are some days that you just want to lay in bed sucking a toe. I mean, your thumb.

All The News Not Fit to Mention

The Beef Plant Fiasco is back...again. But you'd never know it reading articles by our alleged pre-eminent editorial writers. Hampton wants to dwell on how magical Barry Messiah is, or how the governor and his 'minions' are out to get us all. For all I know Sid Salter has an article in the works but right now all he wants to talk about is Medicaid and the death of George Carlin, with an occasional Samson reference thrown in because somebody sent a mean e-mail. Others talk of a conspiracy between the GOP and Big Tobacco to destroy southern Democrats (funny, since most of them tend to be able to screw things up on their own without any help from others)

(And as an aside, how come nobody ever writes an article about how the Democrats and Big Hollywood have teamed up to make propaganda films for the last seven years or so? And has anyone noticed that almost all of them are box office bombs? It was so bad that when Lions for Lambs came to DVD, the tv trailer suddenly went from 'anti-war conspiracy film' to 'leave no man behind.')

Yet none of them are writing about Monty Rushgrove taking money from the Beef Plant Braintrust. Maybe they think it's old news, but fresh indictments in the case demand that the issue be covered, and questions be asked, especially the new 'money pit' revelation. But hey, it's a Democratic year-who are they to interfere in the political process?

It took two months on this blog last year for anyone in the state media to bring up one of the most shameful acts of political retribution in recent memory to be brought up by Salter-the Jeremy Martin railroading was brought up on his blog, one time, almost as a throwaway. Instead of asking tough questions to Samson and the Golden Boy-and maybe asking a few people who sat near Mr. Franks in the House exactly what was said in a couple of early-January 2004 telephone calls-there was one blog post. The Beef Plant is just as bad and it continues to get worse as more and more figures go down. I guess when you're mourning George Carlin, though, it's tough to get around to that kind of thing.

In the Sprit of the Easter Story....

Crucify him, Jim Hood. Crucify him.

About this time four years ago, our Intrepid Attorney General and State Rube was determined to set an example for those who would violate the sanctity of our state's campaign finance laws. Apparently, while he, Eric Clark, and Mike Moore wasted our state's resources investigating Jeremy Martin, he somehow missed all the shenanigans going on down the street in the Governor's mansion regarding the Reaper and the Speekah's beef plant.

So, go ahead, Samson. Crucify him. Maybe this time you'll set that example you were looking so hard for. After all, a well-off lawyer and former governor makes a much better example than school teacher. Maybe, one of these days, if they throw you enough BP fastballs, you'll hit one out of the park. Or does this one have to wait another 36 years for you to take a swing at it?