Wow. Just...wow.
I had doubted that Obama was really as all-powerful as his supporters claim, but I'm here to tell you he's only one more miracle away from sainthood. Electing a Republican in Virginia isn't impossible (though harder than it was years ago). But New Jersey and Massachusetts? That's a miracle that I couldn't have seen coming.
Obama might actually be the savior of the once-drifting Republican party. Right now Juan Williams is telling him to keep on doing what he's doing. I agree wholeheartedly. There is nothing that Obama can't do! Keep it up, Barry! Please campaign for every Democrat across America! Travis Childers needs your help!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
In Response to the Undiebomber...
Our border security arrested independent war correspondent Michael Yon in Seattle. Why? For the heinous offense of refusing to disclose his income. Yon has since been released. To clarify: Your father can report you to a US Embassy as a terrorist threat, you can match up with every terrorist profile out there, and MI5 and the CIA can have you on their threat list...but don't you dare not tell the Border Guards your adjusted gross income!
Glad to know we're taking terrorism seriously.
Say it with me: Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.
Glad to know we're taking terrorism seriously.
Say it with me: Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
I Would Be Remiss If I Didn't Do This
Happy birthday, 21st Amendment. On this day in 1933, the efforts of busybody do-gooders to control the lives of everyday people crashed and burned. Here's hoping that there's a similar crash-and-burn coming with cap-and-tax and health care takeover.
I shall drink to your existence this very evening!
I shall drink to your existence this very evening!
Bennie Thompson being investigated?
I don't know if I would even know it if I wasn't a regular reader of Hot Air. The Cryin' Liar has nothing on the front page, and if any of their writers has blogged on it, that's news to me. The McCoy Journal is no better. I guess shaking down credit card companies for 15 grand in campaign donations-while threatening them from his position as Homeland Security Chairman-isn't newsworthy at all.
The sad thing is that Sid Salter has a blog up right now that is bemoaning the coverage of Tiger Woods' love life over the economy, the wars, and all the other apocalyptic news. And while I'm sick of Tiger talk myself, can't one of you guys be spared from the bar at Hal and Mal's to ask some questions, or is that too much to ask?
They seem to want to make all my "Congressman-for-Life" jokes come true.
The sad thing is that Sid Salter has a blog up right now that is bemoaning the coverage of Tiger Woods' love life over the economy, the wars, and all the other apocalyptic news. And while I'm sick of Tiger talk myself, can't one of you guys be spared from the bar at Hal and Mal's to ask some questions, or is that too much to ask?
They seem to want to make all my "Congressman-for-Life" jokes come true.
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Horror!
Did you hear? An ambitious, celebrity-craving couple talked their way into the White House!
I mean, the next thing you know, these goofballs will want to be on Oprah, have a weekly TV show, be on every magazine cover, and film a Thanksgiving commercial with Drew Brees. Their faces will be everywhere.
Oh, wait...
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Obama Finally Saves Someone's Job...
And it turns out to be a nutty would-be dictator in Latin America. Awesome. Amateur Hour continues.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
This Is The Guy We Are Backing in Honduras
Holed up in an Embassy somewhere in their capital, the exiled attempted dictator Manuel Zelaya has determined exactly who is to blame for his situation. It should come as no surprise as to the culprits.
Its the Joooooos.
Someone once said their are three levels of conspiracy nuts in the world. The first kind is kid of quirky but almost normal-seeming. The second gets into stem-winders on various organizations and people determining world events. The third does the same thing, except their conspiracy always ends up with the Joooooos controlling everything.
And Manuel Zelaya? He falls into the latter category. Apparently, he just can't take all the radiation and mind-altering gas that the Zionist Israeli commandos are pumping into the embassy.
And the position of our government is that he should be in charge down there. Sad, ain't it?
Its the Joooooos.
Someone once said their are three levels of conspiracy nuts in the world. The first kind is kid of quirky but almost normal-seeming. The second gets into stem-winders on various organizations and people determining world events. The third does the same thing, except their conspiracy always ends up with the Joooooos controlling everything.
And Manuel Zelaya? He falls into the latter category. Apparently, he just can't take all the radiation and mind-altering gas that the Zionist Israeli commandos are pumping into the embassy.
And the position of our government is that he should be in charge down there. Sad, ain't it?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
This Cannot Be!
George W. Bush just flipped the coin for the first game at the new Cowboys Stadium. How can this be? Barack Obama is the first president to like sports! I know this because ESPN has told me so! Surely, there can only be one explanation. Jerry Jones is racist.
Sarcasm meters on high, please.
Sarcasm meters on high, please.
Oh, Hob Bryan
"Every economist thinks we need more government spending to get out of this recession!"
Um, no. Not even close. I realize you were engaging in hyperbole designed to make the Governor look bad on education, but come on. Even some of John Maynard Keynes' biggest disciples can't get behind this mess we call "Stimulus." It's not even a real stimulus package. It's a handout every special interest in the country, with a few road projects thrown in. Oh, yeah...and we HAD to have it to keep unemployment below 9 percent.
Today, it's inching toward 10.
The fact is, we cannot spend money that we don't have. The cuts are painful but necessary. If we didn't have so much useless bureaucracy in our education system (Bolivar County, I'm looking at you with your six school districts serving 40,000 people...DeSoto manages just fine with one, serving over 100,000) this might not be happening. There are also antiquated positions within the state (the Public Service Commission, which has steadily become less important over the past 60 years, comes to mind).
There is no horrible motive behind this, Senator Bryan. There is reality. And the reality is, with a bad economy, we can't afford to do things the way they've always been done. Come to think of it, we haven't been doing things well in education anyway. If there ever was a time to clean house, this is it.
Um, no. Not even close. I realize you were engaging in hyperbole designed to make the Governor look bad on education, but come on. Even some of John Maynard Keynes' biggest disciples can't get behind this mess we call "Stimulus." It's not even a real stimulus package. It's a handout every special interest in the country, with a few road projects thrown in. Oh, yeah...and we HAD to have it to keep unemployment below 9 percent.
Today, it's inching toward 10.
The fact is, we cannot spend money that we don't have. The cuts are painful but necessary. If we didn't have so much useless bureaucracy in our education system (Bolivar County, I'm looking at you with your six school districts serving 40,000 people...DeSoto manages just fine with one, serving over 100,000) this might not be happening. There are also antiquated positions within the state (the Public Service Commission, which has steadily become less important over the past 60 years, comes to mind).
There is no horrible motive behind this, Senator Bryan. There is reality. And the reality is, with a bad economy, we can't afford to do things the way they've always been done. Come to think of it, we haven't been doing things well in education anyway. If there ever was a time to clean house, this is it.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Ted Kennedy Dies at 77
Ted Kennedy certainly lived a full life. Dying today at 77, he leaves behind a family, a number of grandchildren, and millions of dollars. He also leaves with a reputation as a statesman and a champion of "health care reform," a bill of which will likely bear his name when it comes to the floor of the Senate.
But in the midst of the sadness for a man who lived to three score and seventeen, we shouldn't forget Mary Jo Kopechne, dead 40 years now. Her life ended at ust 28 years old, and the main reason is Edward Moore Kennedy, who cravenly left her to drown as he swam to safety. A diver sent into the car believed she was alive up to 2 hours after the Senator drove off of a bridge. Had he been Edward Smith or Jones, he likely would have done a nice stretch of time in a penetentiary for his conduct. However, as one of our exalted elites, he was allowed a slap on the wrist. For his negligence, his driver's license was suspended for six months.
Six months of being driven around by other people for killing someone.
So weep for Teddy Kennedy, Lion of the Senate. Weep harder still for the young woman whose life ended because she trusted him, who has been largely forgotten today. It is she, not his years in Washington, that he should be remembered for.
But in the midst of the sadness for a man who lived to three score and seventeen, we shouldn't forget Mary Jo Kopechne, dead 40 years now. Her life ended at ust 28 years old, and the main reason is Edward Moore Kennedy, who cravenly left her to drown as he swam to safety. A diver sent into the car believed she was alive up to 2 hours after the Senator drove off of a bridge. Had he been Edward Smith or Jones, he likely would have done a nice stretch of time in a penetentiary for his conduct. However, as one of our exalted elites, he was allowed a slap on the wrist. For his negligence, his driver's license was suspended for six months.
Six months of being driven around by other people for killing someone.
So weep for Teddy Kennedy, Lion of the Senate. Weep harder still for the young woman whose life ended because she trusted him, who has been largely forgotten today. It is she, not his years in Washington, that he should be remembered for.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Bad News on the War On Terror
The Director of the GI Joe movie says "It's not a George Bush movie, it's a Barack Obama movie."
In other words, expect Duke to wait three days after COBRA attacks, then decide that we don't want to be seen as meddling.
In other words, expect Duke to wait three days after COBRA attacks, then decide that we don't want to be seen as meddling.
Monday, August 3, 2009
I Love the Dos Equis Commercials
I can't help it. "Even when he's on the wrong side of the tracks, he's on the right side." It's like Chuck Norris played by Ricardo Montalban. The conceit is that there's nobody cooler or smarter on the planet than the Spanish guy with the beard.
The commercials are so awesome that the President decided that he had to be in one. So he invited two regular guys and Joe Biden to film it...
Oh, wait, that wasn't it?
See, here's the thing. "The Most Intersting Man in the World" got replaced this week by "The Most Self-Important Man in the World." Thankfully, according to the press, President Obama has healed the nations' racial wounds and moved us past race.
But wait...didn't he do that last summer, too?
Frankly, the whole "post-racial" thing was overblown, much like everything about Obama. Obama is a talented opportunist, a man with the ability to make cutting your own hand off sound perfectly reasonable. But you can only go to the well so many times, like a flamethrowing pitcher who never learns another pitch. Eventually, they catch up to you. And that's started to happen; the Obama Show is wearing itself thin.
Look on the bright side, though, Mr. President. You now have your own little Dos Equis statement: "He can heal the same racial wound...twice."
The commercials are so awesome that the President decided that he had to be in one. So he invited two regular guys and Joe Biden to film it...
Oh, wait, that wasn't it?
See, here's the thing. "The Most Intersting Man in the World" got replaced this week by "The Most Self-Important Man in the World." Thankfully, according to the press, President Obama has healed the nations' racial wounds and moved us past race.
But wait...didn't he do that last summer, too?
Frankly, the whole "post-racial" thing was overblown, much like everything about Obama. Obama is a talented opportunist, a man with the ability to make cutting your own hand off sound perfectly reasonable. But you can only go to the well so many times, like a flamethrowing pitcher who never learns another pitch. Eventually, they catch up to you. And that's started to happen; the Obama Show is wearing itself thin.
Look on the bright side, though, Mr. President. You now have your own little Dos Equis statement: "He can heal the same racial wound...twice."
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Can I Get Something Off My Chest?
Obama's first pitch Tuesday night sucked. No two ways about it.
Do you know how you can tell it sucked? Because ESPN has spent the last three days replaying it over and over again, and talking about how great it was. I have seen some first pitches in my life, and that one took the taco for bad first pitches. William Howard Taft, the first president to throw out a pitch, must be rolling over in his grave at the thought of how awful the pitch was.
Let's break it down:
1) The delivery: Awful. Clunky and ungraceful. Obama can speech with the best of 'em. His windup, on the other hand, is awful. And don't give me the excuse of a bulletproof vest. GWB and Reagan threw strikes wearing them, and both of them from the rubber, not the foot of the mound.
2) The result: Albert Pujols sat right on top of the plate. He had to move to keep the ball from bouncing in front of him.
3) Cominsky Field. I can forgive the misproununciation of the name (Comiskey, but southsiders say it like that). It hearkens back to Jeff Gordon's awful "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"...in which he referred to Wrigley Stadium. Say it with me, Dear Leader: Comiskey Park.
4) The "Obama as Regular Joe" story. I hate these. Somehow, being a sports fan is unique? Did no other president like sports? I mean, other than Reagan, Ford, Nixon, Kennedy, Eisenhower (all college football players), GHW Bush (Gold Glove baseball player at Yale), Carter (High school basketball star), and GWB (former baseball owner) there's not a president in recent memory who loved sports like Obama! Spare me. The man's spent some time talking about the BCS! He's just like you and me! Gag.
One more reason to hate the worldwide brainwasher.
Do you know how you can tell it sucked? Because ESPN has spent the last three days replaying it over and over again, and talking about how great it was. I have seen some first pitches in my life, and that one took the taco for bad first pitches. William Howard Taft, the first president to throw out a pitch, must be rolling over in his grave at the thought of how awful the pitch was.
Let's break it down:
1) The delivery: Awful. Clunky and ungraceful. Obama can speech with the best of 'em. His windup, on the other hand, is awful. And don't give me the excuse of a bulletproof vest. GWB and Reagan threw strikes wearing them, and both of them from the rubber, not the foot of the mound.
2) The result: Albert Pujols sat right on top of the plate. He had to move to keep the ball from bouncing in front of him.
3) Cominsky Field. I can forgive the misproununciation of the name (Comiskey, but southsiders say it like that). It hearkens back to Jeff Gordon's awful "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"...in which he referred to Wrigley Stadium. Say it with me, Dear Leader: Comiskey Park.
4) The "Obama as Regular Joe" story. I hate these. Somehow, being a sports fan is unique? Did no other president like sports? I mean, other than Reagan, Ford, Nixon, Kennedy, Eisenhower (all college football players), GHW Bush (Gold Glove baseball player at Yale), Carter (High school basketball star), and GWB (former baseball owner) there's not a president in recent memory who loved sports like Obama! Spare me. The man's spent some time talking about the BCS! He's just like you and me! Gag.
One more reason to hate the worldwide brainwasher.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
A Little Something Different on the 4th
Today, 70 years ago, Lou Gehrig gave this speech.
Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about a bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. I have been in ballparks for seventeen years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans.
Look at these grand men. Which of you wouldn't consider it the highlight of his career to associate with them for even one day?
Sure, I'm lucky. Who wouldn't consider it an honor to have known Jacob Ruppert - also the builder of baseball's greatest empire, Ed Barrow - to have spent the next nine years with that wonderful little fellow Miller Huggins - then to have spent the next nine years with that outstanding leader, that smart student of psychology - the best manager in baseball today, Joe McCarthy!
Sure, I'm lucky. When the New York Giants, a team you would give your right arm to beat, and vice versa, sends you a gift, that's something! When everybody down to the groundskeepers and those boys in white coats remember you with trophies, that's something.
When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles against her own daughter, that's something. When you have a father and mother who work all their lives so that you can have an education and build your body, it's a blessing! When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed, that's the finest I know.
So I close in saying that I might have had a tough break - but I have an awful lot to live for!
Lou Gehrig - July 4, 1939
Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about a bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. I have been in ballparks for seventeen years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans.
Look at these grand men. Which of you wouldn't consider it the highlight of his career to associate with them for even one day?
Sure, I'm lucky. Who wouldn't consider it an honor to have known Jacob Ruppert - also the builder of baseball's greatest empire, Ed Barrow - to have spent the next nine years with that wonderful little fellow Miller Huggins - then to have spent the next nine years with that outstanding leader, that smart student of psychology - the best manager in baseball today, Joe McCarthy!
Sure, I'm lucky. When the New York Giants, a team you would give your right arm to beat, and vice versa, sends you a gift, that's something! When everybody down to the groundskeepers and those boys in white coats remember you with trophies, that's something.
When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles against her own daughter, that's something. When you have a father and mother who work all their lives so that you can have an education and build your body, it's a blessing! When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed, that's the finest I know.
So I close in saying that I might have had a tough break - but I have an awful lot to live for!
Lou Gehrig - July 4, 1939
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
One for the "Wait A Second" Files
Two weeks ago, meddling in Iran's elections-which were a farce, you know it, I know it, and the Mullahs know it-was the worst thing in the world. Couldn't help at all. Never gonna do it. Chalk it all up as "rigorous debate" amongst the Iranians. (Who knew debate class could now be taken with sniper rifles, internet jamming equipment, and random disappearances? Fun for everyone!)
Of course, the same can't be said of the situation in Honduras. That required immediate denouncing, even though a Chavez-style takeover was the plan of the president there. Everyone else in the country apparently was staging a coup-designed to STOP THIS GUY FROM BECOMING A DICTATOR. Those guys? Staging a coup. No debate here. Just coup.
Amateurs.
Of course, the same can't be said of the situation in Honduras. That required immediate denouncing, even though a Chavez-style takeover was the plan of the president there. Everyone else in the country apparently was staging a coup-designed to STOP THIS GUY FROM BECOMING A DICTATOR. Those guys? Staging a coup. No debate here. Just coup.
Amateurs.
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