Since John F'n Kerry was his choice for President, Rep. Whiplash has apparently emulated his idol, voting against something he favors-drilling.
Let me get this straight: You feel our pain at the pumps, yet you vote against drilling, for any reason? There's never a good reason for $4 gas, Snidely.
If you want to be a left-wing enviro-nut Democrat, go ahead and be one. Don't insult my intelligence by suggesting otherwise.
Showing posts with label CD1. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CD1. Show all posts
Friday, July 18, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I Don't Know What I'd Do...
...without YP. Really, it's like going to Wal-Mart (or Costco, maybe even Whole Foods for all you guys who work for Rep. Whiplash, since I want you guys to feel at home here). Every time you think you're just going there to see what's up, you find something really useful.
Rep. Lynn Westmoreland of Georgia started a petition in the House to allow offshore drilling. He approached Rep. Whiplash about the petition, and got a big, fat, stinky no from the mustachioed one-as well as Rep. Taylor. So much for wanting 'lower gas prices.' I guess suing OPEC will make it that much cheaper, huh?
The link:
http://westmoreland.house.gov/News/DocumentSingle.aspx?DocumentID=94435
JD Berry, you are indispensible, sir.
Rep. Lynn Westmoreland of Georgia started a petition in the House to allow offshore drilling. He approached Rep. Whiplash about the petition, and got a big, fat, stinky no from the mustachioed one-as well as Rep. Taylor. So much for wanting 'lower gas prices.' I guess suing OPEC will make it that much cheaper, huh?
The link:
http://westmoreland.house.gov/News/DocumentSingle.aspx?DocumentID=94435
JD Berry, you are indispensible, sir.
YEAAARRRHHHH!
The Screamer, that good friend of Monty Rushgrove, will be stumping for Obama in Hattiesburg and Jackson soon, according to YP.
Will Monty and Snidely show up? Or will they avoid their party's chairman like the plague?
If they're so ashamed to be Democrats, and disagree with a man who is so vehemently pro-abortion, pro-government, pro-tax, the question is...why are you Democrats in the first place?
Will Monty and Snidely show up? Or will they avoid their party's chairman like the plague?
If they're so ashamed to be Democrats, and disagree with a man who is so vehemently pro-abortion, pro-government, pro-tax, the question is...why are you Democrats in the first place?
Saturday, July 12, 2008
What He Doesn't Say
http://yallpolitics.com/index.php/yp/post/9492/
You will note that instead of saying one time that we might need to drill for a little of our own domestic oil, Rep. Whiplash says that we need to regulate, investigate, and keep throwing away money on ethanol (which has made food prices go up). Notice he never says anything, either, about importing Brazilian sugar-based ethanol (which is ready to go RIGHT NOW, though limited by law to 7% of our ethanol imports) and will not raise the price of food at all, since sugar isn't as necessary an ingredient in making bread, or in feeding livestock.
Plus it can be made in Louisiana and Florida. That's good for our fellow southern states.
But I'm just an ignorant Mississippi Redneck, who doesn't have a bunch of San Francisco liberals telling me what to say. I certainly don't understand that increasing supply to meet demand makes markets stable or anything like that.
You will note that instead of saying one time that we might need to drill for a little of our own domestic oil, Rep. Whiplash says that we need to regulate, investigate, and keep throwing away money on ethanol (which has made food prices go up). Notice he never says anything, either, about importing Brazilian sugar-based ethanol (which is ready to go RIGHT NOW, though limited by law to 7% of our ethanol imports) and will not raise the price of food at all, since sugar isn't as necessary an ingredient in making bread, or in feeding livestock.
Plus it can be made in Louisiana and Florida. That's good for our fellow southern states.
But I'm just an ignorant Mississippi Redneck, who doesn't have a bunch of San Francisco liberals telling me what to say. I certainly don't understand that increasing supply to meet demand makes markets stable or anything like that.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
A Minor Bone To Pick
Rep. Whiplash says that Iraq is ruining the economy. Psychologically, maybe, but what do the numbers say?
The US Gross Domestic Product in 2007 was 13,843,825,000,000 (not a typo-that really is almost fourteen trillion dollars), ranking first in the world. By the same token, the only economy that can compare to the US is the combined European Union, when all 27 members are added together. Japan's GDP is $4.3 trillion; Germany third at $3.3 trillion; China fourth at $3.2; and Britain fifth at $2.7. That's right: Our economy is bigger than the next four on the list (they check in at $13.5 combined).
(Supposedly poor Mexico, due to its trade partnership with the US and Canada-ninth largest-checks in at 15th. They are directly behind Australia and South Korea, and ahead of the Netherlands, Sweden, Belgium, Poland, Norway, Taiwan, Oil-Rich Saudi Arabia, Austria, Greece, Denmark, Ireland, and Israel.)
The federal budget is $3.1 trillion dollars. Our defense budget is roughly 3.7% of our GDP. As Wiki notes, this is more than France (2.6) but much less than Saudi Arabia (10). Overall, defense spending has gone up .7 (that's seven-tenths of one percent) as a percentage of GDP, from a post-WWII low of 3% in 1999-01 (who was president then? I forget). Iraq cost $170 billion last year; as a comparison, $237 billion was spent on public debt. I'm sure the $48 billion in earmarks requested by your co-workers last year could also be used more constructively than, say, a Woodstock Museum.
And of course, I know the trillions of dollars in spending that your party's presidential candidate proposed today you stridently oppose.
It seems to me the bigger issue would be balancing the federal budget, and reigning in public spending if we really wanted to free up cash "to invest in sources of alternative energy, job growth, and economic development," as opposed to something that's a miniscule part of the total spending of our federal government.
But you knew all this, right? I'm sure you've got all the answers ready. After all, it can't be you simply playing up to the isolationist streak in rural North Mississippi, right?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:U.S._Federal_Spending_-_FY_2007.png
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_GDP_(nominal)
The US Gross Domestic Product in 2007 was 13,843,825,000,000 (not a typo-that really is almost fourteen trillion dollars), ranking first in the world. By the same token, the only economy that can compare to the US is the combined European Union, when all 27 members are added together. Japan's GDP is $4.3 trillion; Germany third at $3.3 trillion; China fourth at $3.2; and Britain fifth at $2.7. That's right: Our economy is bigger than the next four on the list (they check in at $13.5 combined).
(Supposedly poor Mexico, due to its trade partnership with the US and Canada-ninth largest-checks in at 15th. They are directly behind Australia and South Korea, and ahead of the Netherlands, Sweden, Belgium, Poland, Norway, Taiwan, Oil-Rich Saudi Arabia, Austria, Greece, Denmark, Ireland, and Israel.)
The federal budget is $3.1 trillion dollars. Our defense budget is roughly 3.7% of our GDP. As Wiki notes, this is more than France (2.6) but much less than Saudi Arabia (10). Overall, defense spending has gone up .7 (that's seven-tenths of one percent) as a percentage of GDP, from a post-WWII low of 3% in 1999-01 (who was president then? I forget). Iraq cost $170 billion last year; as a comparison, $237 billion was spent on public debt. I'm sure the $48 billion in earmarks requested by your co-workers last year could also be used more constructively than, say, a Woodstock Museum.
And of course, I know the trillions of dollars in spending that your party's presidential candidate proposed today you stridently oppose.
It seems to me the bigger issue would be balancing the federal budget, and reigning in public spending if we really wanted to free up cash "to invest in sources of alternative energy, job growth, and economic development," as opposed to something that's a miniscule part of the total spending of our federal government.
But you knew all this, right? I'm sure you've got all the answers ready. After all, it can't be you simply playing up to the isolationist streak in rural North Mississippi, right?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:U.S._Federal_Spending_-_FY_2007.png
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_GDP_(nominal)
Cue Nash, Defending Whiplash
Far be it from anyone to ask Congressman Whiplash to, I don't know, put his money where his mouth is on energy. You can't blame Iraq forever, and you can't run on a phantom record when you're the incumbent. Eventually, people are going to look for more results than faxed statements from Baghdad and you pointing out that you're not living in the Memphis suburbs.
It's such a shame that President Bush wasn't calling for more drilling eight years ago when running for president the first time. Oh, nuts, he was, wasn't he? And it's too bad that drilling in ANWR has been verboten to the Democratic party ever since they allied themselves with the enviro-wacky left in the late '60s. Face it, Jere, to you, the price of gas is a political issue. It's something you can use to hammer the incumbent party, and you know that your coalition doesn't give a damn, because the Obamessiah only thinks it's a problem that gas went up too fast and The Al Gore thinks that higher gas prices are just great (just read his book!) because it'll save the world. To me, it's a real problem-I don't have people lining up bundling millions of dollars for my travel expenses.
I laugh at Nash sometimes. It's like he fell asleep in 1999 and woke up in 2007. I laugh at his and Hampton's complete ignorance of the principles of supply (which we don't have enough of) and demand (of which there is a great increase due to the developing world). And I laugh at all the 'well, it'll be five years' talk when drilling comes up-because if we'd done it eight years ago, we might not be in this situation!
Edited to add: All of a sudden, "War for Oil" doesn't sound so bad, doesn't it?
It's such a shame that President Bush wasn't calling for more drilling eight years ago when running for president the first time. Oh, nuts, he was, wasn't he? And it's too bad that drilling in ANWR has been verboten to the Democratic party ever since they allied themselves with the enviro-wacky left in the late '60s. Face it, Jere, to you, the price of gas is a political issue. It's something you can use to hammer the incumbent party, and you know that your coalition doesn't give a damn, because the Obamessiah only thinks it's a problem that gas went up too fast and The Al Gore thinks that higher gas prices are just great (just read his book!) because it'll save the world. To me, it's a real problem-I don't have people lining up bundling millions of dollars for my travel expenses.
I laugh at Nash sometimes. It's like he fell asleep in 1999 and woke up in 2007. I laugh at his and Hampton's complete ignorance of the principles of supply (which we don't have enough of) and demand (of which there is a great increase due to the developing world). And I laugh at all the 'well, it'll be five years' talk when drilling comes up-because if we'd done it eight years ago, we might not be in this situation!
Edited to add: All of a sudden, "War for Oil" doesn't sound so bad, doesn't it?
The Mother of All Flips is Coming
Today (hat tip to RedState) we learned that the Iraqi government has 'satisfactorily' met 15 of the 18 benchmarks our government had set, double that of a year ago when the surge was in its infancy. I can tell this is all because of the visit by Mississippi's own Snidely Whiplash this week. It seems they have an adverse reaction to men with mustaches.
I kid, I kid.
No, as Iraq moves more and more toward reconciliation, one of two things will come from the Democrat camp: They will either move the goalposts (remember how the violence was "apocalyptic" just eighteen months ago? Now it seems that political reconciliation isn't enough, either.), which they seem to already be doing...or....
It's become a punchline, really, that Senator Messiah's positions...how do we say this politely?...have evolved over time. He was for public financing, then he determined the system was 'broken' and therefore not useful to him; he wasn't the black candidate, then he couldn't disown them (or his pastor), then the wheels on the bus went round and round; he was for the DC gun ban, then against it, etc, etc.
So at what point does he declare the surge a success, reducing violence and allowing reconciliation to take place? After all, in 2004, his position wasn't 'that far removed from the president's' after he'd opposed the war (his quasi-famous 2002 speech which seems to be the fulcrum of his candidacy), then became a proponent of immediate pullout (though his advisors swear, it's really about the facts on the ground!). Who knows what his 'evolving' position will be in September?
Just get ready for it. The flip is coming. It's all just a matter of time. And the Obamessiah's lemmings will eat it up. Oceania, you see, has always been at war with Eastasia.
http://www.ajc.com/services/content/news/stories/2008/07/02/iraq_progress.html?cxtype=rss&cxsvc=7&cxcat=15
I kid, I kid.
No, as Iraq moves more and more toward reconciliation, one of two things will come from the Democrat camp: They will either move the goalposts (remember how the violence was "apocalyptic" just eighteen months ago? Now it seems that political reconciliation isn't enough, either.), which they seem to already be doing...or....
It's become a punchline, really, that Senator Messiah's positions...how do we say this politely?...have evolved over time. He was for public financing, then he determined the system was 'broken' and therefore not useful to him; he wasn't the black candidate, then he couldn't disown them (or his pastor), then the wheels on the bus went round and round; he was for the DC gun ban, then against it, etc, etc.
So at what point does he declare the surge a success, reducing violence and allowing reconciliation to take place? After all, in 2004, his position wasn't 'that far removed from the president's' after he'd opposed the war (his quasi-famous 2002 speech which seems to be the fulcrum of his candidacy), then became a proponent of immediate pullout (though his advisors swear, it's really about the facts on the ground!). Who knows what his 'evolving' position will be in September?
Just get ready for it. The flip is coming. It's all just a matter of time. And the Obamessiah's lemmings will eat it up. Oceania, you see, has always been at war with Eastasia.
http://www.ajc.com/services/content/news/stories/2008/07/02/iraq_progress.html?cxtype=rss&cxsvc=7&cxcat=15
Monday, June 16, 2008
Say What?
Maybe my local history wasn't well taught, but darn if I remember any serious historical event regarding the Civil Rights Movement in Lee County. With the exception of a brief moment in the late '70s, was Tupelo any kind of beacon of the civil rights movement?
Jackson? Yup. Philadelphia? Certainly. McComb? Of course. Tupelo? Not so much.
Yes, there was a Civil War Battle-more accurately called a skirmish, probably. It was the first TVA city-which I'm reminded of every time I enter the mess of an intersection known as Crosstown. Naturally, it's also the birthplace of Elvis and formerly the site of Longtown, a major Chickasaw settlement. Heck, Tupelo has even been held up by Machine Gun Kelly.
But what major civil rights event needs to be commemorated by a monument on the courthouse lawn? And why is it assumed that taxpayers need to fund it?
I have an idea. One of the spokesmen for 'the Coalition for Change' (what a wonderful, vague, vapid, airless name!) is one James Hull. As we discussed last year around this time, he is the former WTVA reporter who became a paid member of the campaign of Jamie Franks Jr. It is my belief that this is Greg Davis, KKK member part 2. Is that too far out of the realm of possibility?
Think about it. The city of Tupelo is a shade under 70% white. The First Congressional District is just over 70% white. In the recent election, about 40% of those voting were black. See the pattern here? A well-timed bit of outrage-say a flyer saying that a candidate supported the KKK, for instance-to drive up black turnout could be beneficial to all kinds of candidates, now and in the future. The presence of a Democratic operative at the front of the entire shebang surely lends itself to that thought.
Now, do Tupelo and Lee County have problems? Yes. There's a lack of affordable housing, especially for the middle class. There are too many city council members. There's a culture of cronyism in the county school district. Are any of these going to be solved by a monument to a movement that largely passed Tupelo by? Nope. And it certainly they will not be solved by spending taxpayer money on such a monument.
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080615/NEWS/80615002
Jackson? Yup. Philadelphia? Certainly. McComb? Of course. Tupelo? Not so much.
Yes, there was a Civil War Battle-more accurately called a skirmish, probably. It was the first TVA city-which I'm reminded of every time I enter the mess of an intersection known as Crosstown. Naturally, it's also the birthplace of Elvis and formerly the site of Longtown, a major Chickasaw settlement. Heck, Tupelo has even been held up by Machine Gun Kelly.
But what major civil rights event needs to be commemorated by a monument on the courthouse lawn? And why is it assumed that taxpayers need to fund it?
I have an idea. One of the spokesmen for 'the Coalition for Change' (what a wonderful, vague, vapid, airless name!) is one James Hull. As we discussed last year around this time, he is the former WTVA reporter who became a paid member of the campaign of Jamie Franks Jr. It is my belief that this is Greg Davis, KKK member part 2. Is that too far out of the realm of possibility?
Think about it. The city of Tupelo is a shade under 70% white. The First Congressional District is just over 70% white. In the recent election, about 40% of those voting were black. See the pattern here? A well-timed bit of outrage-say a flyer saying that a candidate supported the KKK, for instance-to drive up black turnout could be beneficial to all kinds of candidates, now and in the future. The presence of a Democratic operative at the front of the entire shebang surely lends itself to that thought.
Now, do Tupelo and Lee County have problems? Yes. There's a lack of affordable housing, especially for the middle class. There are too many city council members. There's a culture of cronyism in the county school district. Are any of these going to be solved by a monument to a movement that largely passed Tupelo by? Nope. And it certainly they will not be solved by spending taxpayer money on such a monument.
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080615/NEWS/80615002
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
There are Days I Think I'm Psychic
Watched the news last night and it seems that Rep. Whiplash will probably not attend the Dem Convention, much like Gene Taylor.
Shocking that he won't go and use his superdelegate vote now, even when it really doesn't matter. Boren, I think, the representative from Oklahoma who said he would not be casting his vote for Barry Messiah, has real guts, and now everybody knows it. Of course now the Screamer will probably try to castrate him politically. Such is likely the penalty for Apostacy toward the Obamessiah.
At least Taylor hints he might not vote for Obama, instead of skirting the issue. Then again, Mr. Whiplash-I have watched Gene Taylor for a long time, and I can safely say you're no Gene Taylor.
Edited Correction: Dan Boren says he'll vote for Obama, but says he's too liberal and will not endorse him.
Shocking that he won't go and use his superdelegate vote now, even when it really doesn't matter. Boren, I think, the representative from Oklahoma who said he would not be casting his vote for Barry Messiah, has real guts, and now everybody knows it. Of course now the Screamer will probably try to castrate him politically. Such is likely the penalty for Apostacy toward the Obamessiah.
At least Taylor hints he might not vote for Obama, instead of skirting the issue. Then again, Mr. Whiplash-I have watched Gene Taylor for a long time, and I can safely say you're no Gene Taylor.
Edited Correction: Dan Boren says he'll vote for Obama, but says he's too liberal and will not endorse him.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Gene Taylor to Skip Dem Convention...
One wonders if Snidely will do much the same. After all, you know how us clingy, bitter white people can be, right?
http://www.djournal.com/pages/story.asp?ID=274709&pub=1&div=News
http://www.djournal.com/pages/story.asp?ID=274709&pub=1&div=News
Saturday, May 31, 2008
A Question for Monty, Snidely, Et Al
It seems that Robert Wexler, D-FL, is intent on calling Scott "Huh?" McClelland to testify before the House Judicial Committee that he chairs (Hey Barry, that's what chairmen do-they call meetings. Shouldn't you do that since, um, your subcommittee oversees NATO?), that being the committee that oversees any impeachment hearings. It also seems that there is a list of pro-impeachment candidates running for office:
http://www.afterdowningstreet.org/2008candidates
Do you support impeachment for the President and Vice-President? Remember that for two weeks, your term would overlap with theirs. This is a question that you have to answer, since you might be put on the hot seat by your party, seeing as over 100 candidates for the House and 13 in the Senate are signatories to the Downing Street site.
The people who are voting for you deserve to know: Are you willing to drag the country through an impeachment in January 2009?
http://www.afterdowningstreet.org/2008candidates
Do you support impeachment for the President and Vice-President? Remember that for two weeks, your term would overlap with theirs. This is a question that you have to answer, since you might be put on the hot seat by your party, seeing as over 100 candidates for the House and 13 in the Senate are signatories to the Downing Street site.
The people who are voting for you deserve to know: Are you willing to drag the country through an impeachment in January 2009?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I Note on Cottonmouth...
They refer to Southaven as "South Memphis," most likely referring to the number of transplanted Tennesseeans who have moved there in the last 25 years.
But...but...Memphis is a major US city, the 17th largest in the country, a population of 670,000, give or take! There's Triple-A baseball and the NBA right there, world-class restaurants and history and the blues, Graceland, and Beale Street. Why the heck would anyone want to leave?
I've got an idea why. That world class city is also run by a group of somewhat shady Democratic politicians, like the old Crump machine and now Ford family and King Willie, who have caused the boom in Northwest Mississippi, extending the Memphis Metro Area into not only DeSoto, but also Marshall, Tate, and Tunica counties. The fact that Southaven, Olive Branch, Hernando, Horn Lake, and Senatobia are booming is a direct result of the Democratic mismanagement in Memphis. It's not a race thing, either-its a crime, education, and taxes thing.
So go ahead and call it "South Memphis." Just remember who made it that way.
But...but...Memphis is a major US city, the 17th largest in the country, a population of 670,000, give or take! There's Triple-A baseball and the NBA right there, world-class restaurants and history and the blues, Graceland, and Beale Street. Why the heck would anyone want to leave?
I've got an idea why. That world class city is also run by a group of somewhat shady Democratic politicians, like the old Crump machine and now Ford family and King Willie, who have caused the boom in Northwest Mississippi, extending the Memphis Metro Area into not only DeSoto, but also Marshall, Tate, and Tunica counties. The fact that Southaven, Olive Branch, Hernando, Horn Lake, and Senatobia are booming is a direct result of the Democratic mismanagement in Memphis. It's not a race thing, either-its a crime, education, and taxes thing.
So go ahead and call it "South Memphis." Just remember who made it that way.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
It Wasn't Me (with apologies to Shaggy)
"It Wasn't Me"(feat. Barry Messiah)
(Yo', Barry) Yo'(Open up, Barry)
What do you want, man?(The constituents just caught me)
You let them catch you?(I don't know how I let this happen)
With who?(The folks in Mississippi, you know)
Man (I don't know what to do)
Say it wasn't you (Alright)
Election came in and they caught me red-handed
Creeping with the netroots next door
Picture this, we were both asking for money,
Obama on the internet, sure
How could I forget that they had
Googled all kinds of stuff on me
All this time they were standing there
They never took the eyes off me
How you can grant the folks access to your browser
Trespasser and a witness while they pull down your trousers
You better watch your back before it turns into a killer
Best for you and the situation not to call the Deaner
To be a true player you have to know how to play
If they say a night, convince them say a day
Never admit to a word when they say makes a claim
And you tell them baby no way
But they caught me on Internet Explorer (It wasn't me)
Saw me getting endorsed by Obama (It wasn't me)
I don't know if I voted for Kerry (It wasn't me)
WREG even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)
I was sweating down the shoulders (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)
Heard the sobs gettin louder (It wasn't me)
Can't wait til this is all over
Davis came in and he caught me red-handed
Pallin' around with the Dems next door
Picture this, we were both tryin' to get elected
Browsing in the internet world
I had tried to keep them
From what they was about to see
Why should they believe me
When I told them it wasn't me
Make sure they know it's not you and lead them on the right prefix
Whenever you should see them make the Conservative flex
As funny as it be by you, it not that complex
Seeing is believing so you better change your specs
You hope they're not gonna be worrying bout things from the past
Hardly recollecting and then they'll go for Jeremiah's mass
Wait for your answer: go over there
But if they pack a camera you know you better run fast
But they caught me on Internet Explorer (It wasn't me)
Saw me getting endorsed by Obama (It wasn't me)
I don't know if I voted for Kerry (It wasn't me)
WREG even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)
I was sweating down the shoulders (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)
Heard the sobs gettin louder (It wasn't me)
Can't wait til this is all over
Media came in and they caught me red-handed
Creeping with the Speaker next door
Picture this, we were both in elections,
gettin' in on the ground floor
How could I forget they had
Googled all this stuff on me
All this time they were standing there
Voters never took their eyes off me
Gonna tell them that I'm sorry
For voting for Gore and Kerry
I've been listening to your reasoning
It makes no sense at all
We should tell Nancy that I'm sorry
For the pain that I've caused
You may think that you're a player
But you're completely lost
That's why I sing
Election came in and they caught me red-handed
Creeping with the netroots next door
Picture this, we were both asking for money,
Obama on the internet sure
How could I forget that they had
Googled all kinds of stuff on me
All this time they were standing there
They never took the eyes off me
How you can grant the folks access to your browser
Trespasser and a witness while they pull down your trousers
They never took their eyes off me
(Yo', Barry) Yo'(Open up, Barry)
What do you want, man?(The constituents just caught me)
You let them catch you?(I don't know how I let this happen)
With who?(The folks in Mississippi, you know)
Man (I don't know what to do)
Say it wasn't you (Alright)
Election came in and they caught me red-handed
Creeping with the netroots next door
Picture this, we were both asking for money,
Obama on the internet, sure
How could I forget that they had
Googled all kinds of stuff on me
All this time they were standing there
They never took the eyes off me
How you can grant the folks access to your browser
Trespasser and a witness while they pull down your trousers
You better watch your back before it turns into a killer
Best for you and the situation not to call the Deaner
To be a true player you have to know how to play
If they say a night, convince them say a day
Never admit to a word when they say makes a claim
And you tell them baby no way
But they caught me on Internet Explorer (It wasn't me)
Saw me getting endorsed by Obama (It wasn't me)
I don't know if I voted for Kerry (It wasn't me)
WREG even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)
I was sweating down the shoulders (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)
Heard the sobs gettin louder (It wasn't me)
Can't wait til this is all over
Davis came in and he caught me red-handed
Pallin' around with the Dems next door
Picture this, we were both tryin' to get elected
Browsing in the internet world
I had tried to keep them
From what they was about to see
Why should they believe me
When I told them it wasn't me
Make sure they know it's not you and lead them on the right prefix
Whenever you should see them make the Conservative flex
As funny as it be by you, it not that complex
Seeing is believing so you better change your specs
You hope they're not gonna be worrying bout things from the past
Hardly recollecting and then they'll go for Jeremiah's mass
Wait for your answer: go over there
But if they pack a camera you know you better run fast
But they caught me on Internet Explorer (It wasn't me)
Saw me getting endorsed by Obama (It wasn't me)
I don't know if I voted for Kerry (It wasn't me)
WREG even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)
I was sweating down the shoulders (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)
Heard the sobs gettin louder (It wasn't me)
Can't wait til this is all over
Media came in and they caught me red-handed
Creeping with the Speaker next door
Picture this, we were both in elections,
gettin' in on the ground floor
How could I forget they had
Googled all this stuff on me
All this time they were standing there
Voters never took their eyes off me
Gonna tell them that I'm sorry
For voting for Gore and Kerry
I've been listening to your reasoning
It makes no sense at all
We should tell Nancy that I'm sorry
For the pain that I've caused
You may think that you're a player
But you're completely lost
That's why I sing
Election came in and they caught me red-handed
Creeping with the netroots next door
Picture this, we were both asking for money,
Obama on the internet sure
How could I forget that they had
Googled all kinds of stuff on me
All this time they were standing there
They never took the eyes off me
How you can grant the folks access to your browser
Trespasser and a witness while they pull down your trousers
They never took their eyes off me
Thursday, April 24, 2008
So Can I See Your Scar?
Apparently, I missed it (they must have drugged me, there's no way they could get around my .357 that I bitterly cling to) but I've been tagged with a microchip in my brain, according to the Reaper:
I'm just wondering: When is Rep. Holland going to show us the scar where his microchip was removed sometime after he was the Reagan chair for Lee County and when he decided it was more politically viable to run as a Dem in south Lee county?
"Greg is a nice guy, but he’s like they all are on that side - he’s got a microchip inserted in his brain and is like a yo-yo on a string.”
I'm just wondering: When is Rep. Holland going to show us the scar where his microchip was removed sometime after he was the Reagan chair for Lee County and when he decided it was more politically viable to run as a Dem in south Lee county?
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Scenes from a Funeral Parlor (A Parody)
The place: A funeral home in Lee County.
The young man walks into the office of the Funeral Director. He's very chipper about seeing his old friend. "Hi, buddy, how ya doin'?" He asks, pulling up a chair, and getting his behind about halfway down when he's stopped by the Director, a much larger older man.
"Don't bother sittin' down, Junior, this ain't gonna take long." The big man is now looking up through his glasses, at what appears to be a list of names and phone numbers. He puts the list down, and lights a cigar.
"You called me here," the younger man says, confused.
"You're darn tootin' I did. We need to talk about these folks you've been callin' here lately. I don't like it, don't like it one bit. This foolishness has got to stop, you understand me? All the boys agree with me, too." The big man leans back in his chair, putting his hands across his girth.
"What? I'm just talking to my old donors, trying to put up some cash for-" he began, but is cut off by the Director.
"You ain't doin' nothin', kid. Not a blessed thing. These folks here-" he holds up the list with names, addresses, and more, "ain't givin' you a thing. Do you know why they ain't gonna give you nothin', boy?" The young man shrugs. "They don't like losers, and you're a loser. Worse, you're a big loser. You're like Ohio State. Nobody wants to associate with you. You ain't gettin' no money, and I've seen to that."
"Why are you doing this?"
The director laughs. "Because, you're old news. You're a joke. Did you really think anyone would be lining up to help you after you lost your own home county? There's another reason you won't be getting their money, of course." The big man pauses, then continues. "It's all coming to me, anyway."
He lets the news sink in, then proceeds. "It was never about you, boy. You ain't gonna have a dime in this race unless you spend all that money you snookered out of folks. You better just forget about this whole thing now, and tell 'em you're out, 'cause you are. You just found out from me. You can tell 'em its about the job, you can say you're tired, and of course you can use your kids-that's always popular. But you're out. I just wanted you to hear it from me."
The young man walks into the office of the Funeral Director. He's very chipper about seeing his old friend. "Hi, buddy, how ya doin'?" He asks, pulling up a chair, and getting his behind about halfway down when he's stopped by the Director, a much larger older man.
"Don't bother sittin' down, Junior, this ain't gonna take long." The big man is now looking up through his glasses, at what appears to be a list of names and phone numbers. He puts the list down, and lights a cigar.
"You called me here," the younger man says, confused.
"You're darn tootin' I did. We need to talk about these folks you've been callin' here lately. I don't like it, don't like it one bit. This foolishness has got to stop, you understand me? All the boys agree with me, too." The big man leans back in his chair, putting his hands across his girth.
"What? I'm just talking to my old donors, trying to put up some cash for-" he began, but is cut off by the Director.
"You ain't doin' nothin', kid. Not a blessed thing. These folks here-" he holds up the list with names, addresses, and more, "ain't givin' you a thing. Do you know why they ain't gonna give you nothin', boy?" The young man shrugs. "They don't like losers, and you're a loser. Worse, you're a big loser. You're like Ohio State. Nobody wants to associate with you. You ain't gettin' no money, and I've seen to that."
"Why are you doing this?"
The director laughs. "Because, you're old news. You're a joke. Did you really think anyone would be lining up to help you after you lost your own home county? There's another reason you won't be getting their money, of course." The big man pauses, then continues. "It's all coming to me, anyway."
He lets the news sink in, then proceeds. "It was never about you, boy. You ain't gonna have a dime in this race unless you spend all that money you snookered out of folks. You better just forget about this whole thing now, and tell 'em you're out, 'cause you are. You just found out from me. You can tell 'em its about the job, you can say you're tired, and of course you can use your kids-that's always popular. But you're out. I just wanted you to hear it from me."
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
When You Just Can't Stop...
NEW ORLEANS-Colt Brennan, the much-hyped and sadly disappointed Heisman Candidate and Hawaii quarterback, has announced that he wants another chance at the Georgia Bulldogs, who defeated his Warriors handily here Tuesday night.
"Georgia really wasn't that good a team," Brennan said, "they just scored more points than us. Really, their unfair tactics on defense and an advantage in speed caused us to fall behind, and we couldn't catch up."
The WAC Offensive Player of the Year, who faced little in the way of stiff competition in his time on the islands, said the Bulldogs hit him many times before he was ready to throw, a tactic he described as "dirty."
He also pointed to a second-quarter interception that he threw as an unfair tactic. "Georgia came with three rushers, and dropped eight men into coverage. I didn't have enough recievers to compete with that," he noted, as offenses are only allowed five eligible pass recievers. Still, the Hawaii offense had seen similar packages all year in their Run-and-Shoot Offense, which had put up many points on the overmatched Western Athletic Conference teams they'd seen, said Georgia coach Mark Richt.
"Our defensive package didn't have much to do with it. We were just a better football team, and it showed."
******
A PARODY
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