Our Greatest Investigative Journalist

Jerry Mitchell, Mississippi's Greatest Investigative Journalist (TM), has a twitter.

And like all of our esteemed media in Mississippi, he is up in arms about allowing guns in church.  He tweeted out this afternoon a picture of the New Bethel Church celebrating being allowed to carry in the church house.  He's sending the picture out to show how ignorant all these Mississippi yokels are, ha ha ha!  Look at the dummies with their NRA stickers in the parking lot!    

One church celebrating #GunsInChurches in Mississippi. https://t.co/mU0Dl6K6F7 pic.twitter.com/6kEkfiuXe0

— Jerry Mitchell (@JMitchellNews) April 16, 2016

There's just one problem. Ok, two.

The first is the picture wasn't even taken this decade.  A quick google image search by Mississippi's Greatest Investigative Journalist (TM) would have revealed it was taken in 2009.  I say this because of the number of fake meme generators out there has gotten to the point where my default assumption is "if it looks to good to be true, it probably is."

And the other thing Mississippi's Greatest Investigative Journalist (TM) missed?

The picture is from Kentucky.

I know how you feel, Jerry.  I've been taken in by images, too.  But then, I'm not Mississippi's Greatest Investigative Journalist (TM).  I'm not the one who's virtue has to be signaled.  And I'm not the one who has to show all of his colleagues that "I'M NOT LIKE THOSE PEOPLE."

I'll leave you all with this thought from Jerry, Mississippi's Greatest Investigative Journalist (TM):

A free press is not only a right & privilege, but a necessity in a great society. #JournalismMatters pic.twitter.com/xljPzg1TIs

— Jerry Mitchell (@JMitchellNews) April 14, 2016

I guess an accurate one would be nice, too.

A Hundred Million Dollars

"Geithy, we got a problem," the boss said.

"Sir, I'm aware of that. I've been working diligently toward fixing it. Of course, if I had a little more help..."

"Look, I'm getting to that. These e-mails to Jessica Beil aren't going to write themselves, you know," the boss replied. "There's all kinds of problems, though. Do you know about these Pirates?"

"Yes, sir, I have. Terrible situation, but our Seals sure fixed it, eh? Great call," Geithy retorted, smiling. The boss shook his head.

"They're back! I don't believe it! And do you know they took two out of three from the Braves this weekend! I don't even know what they took, but I won't stand for this! Do they have no decency?"

"Sir, I don't think we're talking about the same pirates. The ones you're talking about are in Pittsburgh..."

"They're in Pittsburgh! Oh my God! What are we gonna do? Pirates and those redneck clingers? This is going to be a disaster of epic proportions!"

"Sir, these Pirates play baseball. Not very well, you know."

"Nationalize the Yankees, then. We'll show them that nobody messes with this country, especially with the national pasttime! What'll that take?" The boss looks angry.

Geithy looks confused. "Sir, it would take...I don't know, a hundred million dollars just to pay Alex Rodriguez' salary. And he's just one..."

"Then you got it, Geithy. We're gonna show them. If it takes a hundred million, it takes a hundred million. Figure it out, huh?"

Wait A Minute!

So the Democrat party in this state elected Jamie Franks Jr. to run it last year...and now he needs help?

I thought that he was one of the Great Minds of Our State, having authored every bill to come down the pike since being handed, I mean, elected to, his seat years ago! Surely he doesn't need help. After all, the only reason he lost the Lt. Governor's race last year is because Lloyd Gray, Davy Hampton, and Bobby Harrison all didn't give him enough love in print.

Don't you all remember the Democratic hosannas that were headed his way when elected? Remember the One himself saying that Mississippi could be a Democrat state again? I do. I guess he just needed somebody smarter to pull it off.

Hold the Mayo...And the BS

It is an article of faith amongst the Democrat party that the Republican party only wins elections when it scares people. Recent blogging by Rep. John Mayo merely confirms this. In his Clarion-Ledger blog recently he posted that the Republican party only wins by fear: Fear of gays (someone tell him about his state party chairman's stance on Liberace and Elton John), fear of terrorism (yeah, because we all just collectively dreamt what happened in Mumbai recently), fear of abortionists (because the only people who should fear them haven't been born yet!)...eh, you get it.

Never mind a couple of things:

1) Democrats have maintained consitutencies through fear for ages. To the old, they tell them that their Social Security will be confiscated by Mitch McConnell and John Boehner. To the minority, they talk about losing voting rights and priviledges. To women, they prey on the fear of men doing icky things to their women parts. To the young, they tell them to fear they'll be forced to war.

2) Most of these 'fears' aren't founded in boogeyman superstition and bumps in the night. The fears are rooted in a group of people who seek to change the very structure and foundation of our culture and society. People aren't concerned about an abstract thing called terrorism (mostly because for the last 7 1/2 years some of us have actually been concerned about it, unlike, apparently, Rep. Mayo). We watched as an entire city was held hostage by willful, brutish men not two weeks ago. I'm not afraid of an idea, sir, I am afraid of people acting out that idea. The same for the cultural, moral, and ethical questions about abortion.

I'm sure Rep. Mayo would enjoy telling his constituents (who, after all, are the same clingy bitter people his presidential candidate pontificated on several months ago) how they're so stupid as to keep falling for professional liars and cheats. I mean, what kind of idiot would those people elect?

Oh, wait.

Murtha Gets Comeuppance

SNL has decided to turn its gaze to him and the equally loquacious Joe Biden.

To a nicer guy, it couldn't happen. I hope on election night the Haditha Marines get a good laugh at your expense. God knows because of you they've earned it.

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/road-to-the-white-house/787141/

In Case You Ever Feel Like You're Alone Out There...

Here's a list of celebrities who "lean to the right," though I find some of them curious (Britney Spears? Meat Loaf? Don King? Really?) and surprising (Kid Rock, James Earl Jones and Karl Malone, huh?). It's still a free country, at least until the thought police get here. Check it out.

And for those of you who hate us conservatives, note that many of them are really, really good looking. None look clingy (though I wish Rachel Hunter was).

http://wcbstv.com/slideshows/Conservative.Celebrities.20.824701.html?rid=0

Curses

Barry Messiah had a good month fundraising. So did the DNC. This brings them roughly to parity with our guys.

We can probably take comfort in the fact that they will burn through their money a lot faster than McCain and the RNC will. The Obama burn rate since he started getting thumped by Clingy Bitter People has been about 115%.

I have to wonder if the "begging" video and the holdback on their numbers wasn't a cute trick to pump the July numbers. I guess that's the way you have to operate when you're trying to run as the outsider underdog when you're the uberdog.

The Messiah Speeketh

Now, I agree that immigrants should learn English. I agree with that. But understand this. Instead of worrying about whether immigrants can learn English— they'll learn English — you need to make sure your child can speak Spanish. You should be thinking about, how can your child become bilingual? We should have every child speaking more than one language.

You know, it's embarrassing when Europeans come over here, they all speak English, they speak French, they speak German. And then we go over to Europe, and all we can say [is], "Merci beaucoup." Right?

Because we all know people love the French...

"They'll learn English." So sayeth Obamessiah, so let it be. Reality, meet Barry. Barry, meet Reality. Have you been to a large city with a significant immigrant population? Every sign in immigrant neighborhoods-every freaking one, people, it's amazing-is in a language I can classify as "Not English."

English is the glue that holds this country together. Immigrants aren't asked to learn that-or our cultural values-and that's part of what is fraying our society. Look at Britain, France, Germany, and the trouble they have with unassimilated immigrants. I watch riots in Paris, no-go zones in London, and terrorist cells in Berlin. There but for the grace of God go we.

Nobody opposes foreign language classes. What we oppose is being told we are the problem. I guess we're bitterly clinging to our language now. And this guy wonders why we question his patriotism after he says stupid things like that.

Edited to Add: I don't apologize for speaking the lingua franca that is English. It's as though someone should have been embarrassed for being a native Latin or Greek speaker during the height of their empires.

Clingy and Bitter, You Mean

With a big tip of the hat to the indespensible Alan Lange, from the Wonkette site:

They’re old fashioned in Mississippi, that’s what! They believe in the old fashioned way of life, such as women are for making babies and the Negro is for slave labor on your plantation or maybe for lynching.

All class man, all class. They wonder why we remain 'bitter' toward their coastal liberal politics.

Peggy has a whole column to write, so she needs to explain exactly how badly the Republican Party will be stomped by the Democrats in November, even in slave states like Mississippi, where only Trent Lott’s family can legally vote.

Where oh where are the so-called Independent Southern Democrats coming to our aid? Snidely? Monty? Why aren't you jumping on this like Congressman Pickering jumped on "who the hell wants to live in Mississippi?" Where is David Hampton's outrage? Huh?

I'm both terrified and eager to see what they'll be saying when the Obamessiah drops the entire south in November.
http://wonkette.com/400862/mississippi-wingnut-congressman-retiring-

A Big Win For the Constitution

While the Supreme Court yesterday made the bizzare ruling that child molesters do not warrant the death penalty, today they actually got one right. In the Heller decision, the Court actually used the Constitution to make a ruling. I know, I know, that's their job-but these days, it seems like they're using international law, feelings, public opinion, and existential philosophy to make decisions more than the fundamental body of law that binds together this Union.

Yes, the Court strangely read the Second Amendment and determined that it means what it says-that the American citizen has the right to own and keep a gun. Miracle of miracles, and this one wasn't even the responsibility of the Obamessiah-who once favored a complete gun ban, then didn't, then threw a staffer under the bus when it became inconvenient, then got caught in a lie about it. Then the press forgot about it. Tell me that surprises you-cause that'll surprise me.

Of course, for the Court to be consistent, they'd probably have to declare that everyone own a gun, whether or not they wanted to, and paid for by the federal government. But I'll take my victories where I can get them, you know? In a world where all I have to cling to is my bitterness, my gun and my Bible, what else can I ask for?

Obama or What, Exactly?

Nothing like the endorsement of a semi-washed up rapper on his third rapper name now best known for being Mr. J Lo:

LOS ANGELES (AP) - Barack Obama didn't attend the BET Awards, but that didn't stop attendees from talking about him.

"If we all register and vote, we will have the first black president in the history of America," Sean "Diddy" Combs told the crowd Tuesday at the Shrine Auditorium before chanting "Obama or Die" - a declarative remix of his neutral "Vote or Die" motto from the 2004 presidential election, when he attempted to boost the youth vote.

Yeah, that's going to really win over those bitter clingy people in Ohio, West Virginia and Pennsylvania...oh, wait, you don't need them anyway, right?

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080625/D91H2SU00.html

Gene Taylor to Skip Dem Convention...

One wonders if Snidely will do much the same. After all, you know how us clingy, bitter white people can be, right?

http://www.djournal.com/pages/story.asp?ID=274709&pub=1&div=News

It Just Gets Better and Better

David Axelrod, Barry Messiah's wingman, says not to worry about downscale whites:

"The white working class has gone to the Republican nominee for many elections, going back even to the Clinton years. This is not new that Democratic candidates don't rely solely on those votes."

Well, thanks for writing off all of those Reagan Democrats who voted in your party primaries in Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Ohio. Could you lock up Missouri or Iowa for McCain while you're at it?

Please, please, please, please, I beg of you: Nominate this walking gaffe machine for President!