Obama Thinks MS & NC Laws Are Wrong

Brian Terry and Christopher Stevens were unfortunately unavailable for comment.

The Horror!

Did you hear? An ambitious, celebrity-craving couple talked their way into the White House!

I mean, the next thing you know, these goofballs will want to be on Oprah, have a weekly TV show, be on every magazine cover, and film a Thanksgiving commercial with Drew Brees. Their faces will be everywhere.

Oh, wait...

Obama Finally Saves Someone's Job...

And it turns out to be a nutty would-be dictator in Latin America. Awesome. Amateur Hour continues.

Isn't it great

...to have a president who loves sports?

This Is The Guy We Are Backing in Honduras

Holed up in an Embassy somewhere in their capital, the exiled attempted dictator Manuel Zelaya has determined exactly who is to blame for his situation. It should come as no surprise as to the culprits.

Its the Joooooos.

Someone once said their are three levels of conspiracy nuts in the world. The first kind is kid of quirky but almost normal-seeming. The second gets into stem-winders on various organizations and people determining world events. The third does the same thing, except their conspiracy always ends up with the Joooooos controlling everything.

And Manuel Zelaya? He falls into the latter category. Apparently, he just can't take all the radiation and mind-altering gas that the Zionist Israeli commandos are pumping into the embassy.

And the position of our government is that he should be in charge down there. Sad, ain't it?

This Cannot Be!

George W. Bush just flipped the coin for the first game at the new Cowboys Stadium. How can this be? Barack Obama is the first president to like sports! I know this because ESPN has told me so! Surely, there can only be one explanation. Jerry Jones is racist.

Sarcasm meters on high, please.

Bad News on the War On Terror

The Director of the GI Joe movie says "It's not a George Bush movie, it's a Barack Obama movie."

In other words, expect Duke to wait three days after COBRA attacks, then decide that we don't want to be seen as meddling.

I Love the Dos Equis Commercials

I can't help it. "Even when he's on the wrong side of the tracks, he's on the right side." It's like Chuck Norris played by Ricardo Montalban. The conceit is that there's nobody cooler or smarter on the planet than the Spanish guy with the beard.

The commercials are so awesome that the President decided that he had to be in one. So he invited two regular guys and Joe Biden to film it...

Oh, wait, that wasn't it?

See, here's the thing. "The Most Intersting Man in the World" got replaced this week by "The Most Self-Important Man in the World." Thankfully, according to the press, President Obama has healed the nations' racial wounds and moved us past race.

But wait...didn't he do that last summer, too?

Frankly, the whole "post-racial" thing was overblown, much like everything about Obama. Obama is a talented opportunist, a man with the ability to make cutting your own hand off sound perfectly reasonable. But you can only go to the well so many times, like a flamethrowing pitcher who never learns another pitch. Eventually, they catch up to you. And that's started to happen; the Obama Show is wearing itself thin.

Look on the bright side, though, Mr. President. You now have your own little Dos Equis statement: "He can heal the same racial wound...twice."

Sorry About Not Posting More

I've been dodging greedy tonsil-hungry doctors all summer.

Can I Get Something Off My Chest?

Obama's first pitch Tuesday night sucked. No two ways about it.

Do you know how you can tell it sucked? Because ESPN has spent the last three days replaying it over and over again, and talking about how great it was. I have seen some first pitches in my life, and that one took the taco for bad first pitches. William Howard Taft, the first president to throw out a pitch, must be rolling over in his grave at the thought of how awful the pitch was.

Let's break it down:

1) The delivery: Awful. Clunky and ungraceful. Obama can speech with the best of 'em. His windup, on the other hand, is awful. And don't give me the excuse of a bulletproof vest. GWB and Reagan threw strikes wearing them, and both of them from the rubber, not the foot of the mound.

2) The result: Albert Pujols sat right on top of the plate. He had to move to keep the ball from bouncing in front of him.

3) Cominsky Field. I can forgive the misproununciation of the name (Comiskey, but southsiders say it like that). It hearkens back to Jeff Gordon's awful "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"...in which he referred to Wrigley Stadium. Say it with me, Dear Leader: Comiskey Park.

4) The "Obama as Regular Joe" story. I hate these. Somehow, being a sports fan is unique? Did no other president like sports? I mean, other than Reagan, Ford, Nixon, Kennedy, Eisenhower (all college football players), GHW Bush (Gold Glove baseball player at Yale), Carter (High school basketball star), and GWB (former baseball owner) there's not a president in recent memory who loved sports like Obama! Spare me. The man's spent some time talking about the BCS! He's just like you and me! Gag.

One more reason to hate the worldwide brainwasher.

One for the "Wait A Second" Files

Two weeks ago, meddling in Iran's elections-which were a farce, you know it, I know it, and the Mullahs know it-was the worst thing in the world. Couldn't help at all. Never gonna do it. Chalk it all up as "rigorous debate" amongst the Iranians. (Who knew debate class could now be taken with sniper rifles, internet jamming equipment, and random disappearances? Fun for everyone!)

Of course, the same can't be said of the situation in Honduras. That required immediate denouncing, even though a Chavez-style takeover was the plan of the president there. Everyone else in the country apparently was staging a coup-designed to STOP THIS GUY FROM BECOMING A DICTATOR. Those guys? Staging a coup. No debate here. Just coup.

Amateurs.

Well, Since They Think You're Meddling, Mr. President...

By all means, sir, proceed to meddle.

Seriously, Will SOMEBODY in this Administration Show Support for the Iranian People?

If there has ever been a chance in the last 30 years that that the regime of Mullahs and lunatics running Iran can be overthrown, its right now. Yet nobody in our administration wants to be the bad guy on the international scene and demand that the Iranians allow for an audit of their election and not crack down on their population. Uh, news flash, Barry: You got to vote "Present" in the last job, not this one.

Admittedly, the "reformer" in Iran is only slightly less nutty as Mahmoud. But this can be huge in walking Iran back down from the ledge, after thirty years of killing Americans and Israelis and Lebanese and Iraqis and God knows who else. Freedom had false starts in Hungary in '56 and Czechoslovakia in '68. They've been waiting 20 years in China since Tiananmen. Twenty years may be too long to wait in Tehran.

Where To Begin on The Egypt Speech?

So many things, so little time...

Nuclear Power for Iran? No Problem! Nuclear Power for the US? What, are you crazy or something?

People building houses=People getting shoved in gas chambers.

Can't tell others whether or not to have nukes...but Iran, you can't have nukes.

While there was a lot of good in the speech, is it really anything we haven't heard before? Religion of peace, not at war with Islam, Democracy is great...wasn't there some other guy who made that speech a million times? The main difference is this time, the speaker gets to brag on his Muslim heritage, and make a few empty plattitudes, plus mangle history. You know, basically make the typical Obama speech. Might they listen? Here's hoping.

Bottom line, Obama is still campaigning. And that's great for him. For the rest of us...that's up in the air.

Your Obama Moment of Genius

Today, The One said that the US is one of the world's largest Muslim countries.

No, seriously.

A quick check confirms the US has the 56th largest Muslim population in the world, at somewhere around 3 million. Which is less than Burkina Faso.

Much like their jobs numbers, I think they just pull these out of the air sometimes.

Wow, Just What America Needs

A pushy, mean liberal Supreme Court justice! One who tries to shout down the opposition! One who is just a bit racialist! And one who thinks (by her own admission) the courts should make policy!

Why didn't he just nominate Jeremiah Wright?

With Apologies to Pastor Martin Neimoller...

"In America, first they came for the AIG executives, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't an AIG executive;
And then they came for the solvent banks, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't a banker;
And then they came for the auto creditors, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't an auto creditor;
And then...they came for me...and by that time there was no one left to speak up."

Pardon me if I'm not excited that the executive branch has decided to start tearing up contracts left and right and seizing property.

A Hundred Million Dollars

"Geithy, we got a problem," the boss said.

"Sir, I'm aware of that. I've been working diligently toward fixing it. Of course, if I had a little more help..."

"Look, I'm getting to that. These e-mails to Jessica Beil aren't going to write themselves, you know," the boss replied. "There's all kinds of problems, though. Do you know about these Pirates?"

"Yes, sir, I have. Terrible situation, but our Seals sure fixed it, eh? Great call," Geithy retorted, smiling. The boss shook his head.

"They're back! I don't believe it! And do you know they took two out of three from the Braves this weekend! I don't even know what they took, but I won't stand for this! Do they have no decency?"

"Sir, I don't think we're talking about the same pirates. The ones you're talking about are in Pittsburgh..."

"They're in Pittsburgh! Oh my God! What are we gonna do? Pirates and those redneck clingers? This is going to be a disaster of epic proportions!"

"Sir, these Pirates play baseball. Not very well, you know."

"Nationalize the Yankees, then. We'll show them that nobody messes with this country, especially with the national pasttime! What'll that take?" The boss looks angry.

Geithy looks confused. "Sir, it would take...I don't know, a hundred million dollars just to pay Alex Rodriguez' salary. And he's just one..."

"Then you got it, Geithy. We're gonna show them. If it takes a hundred million, it takes a hundred million. Figure it out, huh?"

Congratulations on Your Bracket, Mr. President...

Now get to work filling out your Treasury Department, you lazy bum.

Nothing Says Egomania

Like giving the Queen of England (not Great Britain or the UK, apparently) an IPod with your own speeches on it.

On the other hand, nothing seems more craven than a bow this deep to the Saudi King:



You know, someone related a story to me recently. The first time the Kennedys met the British monarch, Jackie asked the Chief of Protocol (which the Obamas didn't even know existed) if she should curtsey to the Queen. He replied no, that spouses and heads of state do not curtsey to heads of state. Several years later, after the assassination, she met the Queen again, and did curtsey. Her response was, "I'm no longer the spouse of a head of state."

Over their heads much? Yeah. Clueless bumbling amateurs.