Can I Get Something Off My Chest?

Obama's first pitch Tuesday night sucked. No two ways about it.

Do you know how you can tell it sucked? Because ESPN has spent the last three days replaying it over and over again, and talking about how great it was. I have seen some first pitches in my life, and that one took the taco for bad first pitches. William Howard Taft, the first president to throw out a pitch, must be rolling over in his grave at the thought of how awful the pitch was.

Let's break it down:

1) The delivery: Awful. Clunky and ungraceful. Obama can speech with the best of 'em. His windup, on the other hand, is awful. And don't give me the excuse of a bulletproof vest. GWB and Reagan threw strikes wearing them, and both of them from the rubber, not the foot of the mound.

2) The result: Albert Pujols sat right on top of the plate. He had to move to keep the ball from bouncing in front of him.

3) Cominsky Field. I can forgive the misproununciation of the name (Comiskey, but southsiders say it like that). It hearkens back to Jeff Gordon's awful "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"...in which he referred to Wrigley Stadium. Say it with me, Dear Leader: Comiskey Park.

4) The "Obama as Regular Joe" story. I hate these. Somehow, being a sports fan is unique? Did no other president like sports? I mean, other than Reagan, Ford, Nixon, Kennedy, Eisenhower (all college football players), GHW Bush (Gold Glove baseball player at Yale), Carter (High school basketball star), and GWB (former baseball owner) there's not a president in recent memory who loved sports like Obama! Spare me. The man's spent some time talking about the BCS! He's just like you and me! Gag.

One more reason to hate the worldwide brainwasher.