A Bit from Jacinto

So much to blog on, so little time....

First off, as the header suggests, Jacinto. The annual event at the old county seat of Tishomingo County was held over last week, and our favorite poster boy for bingo money and frivolous lawsuits was present and speaking. Of course, this is a Tank exclusive; the media in this state avoid directly listening to Mr. Franks as much as they can. One can only reflexively vote and support people only so long, especially after hearing the exact same stump speech for twelve years. You'd think a man who's a multi-millionare could afford to pay someone to write a new gimmick for him, but you'd be wrong.

Apparently, shockingly to most of us who know him, Mr. Franks is not an attorney, who got his JD at Mississippi College, and practiced for a time with Shelton & Associates in Tupelo. No, this is wrong. He certainly doesn't practice law with good buddy Bill Wheeler at Wheeler & Franks. Mr. Franks is a horticulturalist, owner of his own lawnmowing business. This comes as a shock to anyone who's been served on his behalf (I'm looking at you, Osama). Of course, his claim to being a professional lawn mower might be countered by a few doctors in Tupelo who are still awaiting lawn work from 1993. No wonder he opposes tort reform-otherwise, those doctors would have time to file paperwork on him instead of worrying about malpractice suits.

Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia.

Second: Mr. Franks opposes Gay Marraige, and wants to ban it. I guess someone should have told him that the state's constitution has banned it since 2004, when it was voted in with huge popular support (around 80%). I guess if I were a Democrat, I'd try to block out 2004 as well. Of course, he supported banning it in state statute for years prior to the ammendment; just ask him, he was instrumental in getting the ban passed into the state code. That's right: He wants to ban Gay Marraige for a third time. I'm against it as well, but I don't think we need to ban it a third time. Seems counterproductive to me. Of course, if we were talking about banning marraige between illegal immigrants for a third time, the JSU professors and the Clarion-Ledger might think we were bigots.

Third: Apparently, unbeknownst to all of us, there was a humungoloid change in the Mississippi Constitution when Haley Barbour took office in 2004. It seems that Devil Haley Barbour made people vote for him and his unconstitutional constitution in the 2003 elections. Little did we know that this constitution would make him an ironclad dictator, his political will unchallenged throughout the state, akin to Huey Long with a penchant for walking. Why, he's forced the legislature to declare the Teddy Bear the state toy. What kind of monster is he? I suppose that's the reason we need an independent (read: Someone who'll take his orders from Billy, Steve, and JP without complaining) Lt. Governor.

Of course, last I checked, his appointive power was limited, and the legislature still had most of the power in the arrangement outlined in our Constitution (you know, the one that we've had since 1891). The governor of this state is only as strong as he is popular, and that's the problem Franks has with Barbour. Heck, you'd think he was running against the governor as much as he talks about him. I suppose it's easier to run against Haley than run on your accomplishments. Like...um...the car tag thing...and....uh...banning gay marraige...and...spending $14 million on an election for a flag....and...uh....uh....