Sunday, October 28, 2007

An English Lesson

See, the English language is complicated. There are billions of English speakers worldwide yet only Chinese is ranked as a harder language to learn by experts. In many languages, there are genders assigned to specific objects (learning them in Spanish is a killer, let me tell you).

In English, we use the past, present and future tense for things. You can describe what has happened, what is happening, or what is going to happen.

But you can only predict the last one. And when you say, as Mr. Franks did in yesterday's Columbus Commercial Dispatch, that "The people have spoken," and that any veto "will be overridden" you're treading awful close to Ms. Cleo territory. It's in regard to the manufactured Tax Swap Issue, one that, of course, is so poorly thought out and championed mainly by a) newspaper editorial boards, and 2) 'populist yellow dog Democrats' looking for an issue that might drag Haley Barbour down (especially after the Ethics fiasco that blew up in Mr. Franks' partner's face). In fact, the people have not spoken; they will not for another week or so.

Naturally, Mr. Franks expresses concern that ad valorem taxes will go up if education is not fully funded. Well, gosh, what exactly is going to take the place of sales taxes for cities if that's cut? Here's another issue: Mississippi is the poorest state in the Union, meaning per capita we have more people who fall under the poverty line than any other state. This means, of course, they pay little to no federal or state taxes. For many-including illegal immigrants-the sales tax is the only tax they pay. It's more fair than income taxes, and I'm sure most people-at least the sane ones, anyway-will agree on that one.

He goes on in the Commerical Dispatch to talk about ethics. Once again, that's like getting sex ed taught to you by the Pope. We're talking about a man who's law partner sits on the Ethics commission, who made a shady deal with the AG to get his opponent in the 2003 election arrested, and then claimed to have no knowledge of it, despite claims to the contrary made by him in the Daily Journal when it happened! We're also talking about a man who's promised his support to just about every candidate with a D by their name running for his old seat, and who's claimed that the beef plant was the fault not of he and his cronies, but of the one guy who did something about it! A man who sued schools and businesses he represented in the legislature!

Of course, there's the repeated line about not serving a single politician or political party. That's actually half true. Mr. Franks would be serving numerous politicians-Billy McCoy, Steve Holland, Compretta, Percy Watson, Cecil Brown, Gloria Williamson...

The best line, though, comes at the end.

They want their candidates to fulfill their dreams; they want their
candidates to have the life they never had.

Oh, isn't this rich...just like Mr. Franks! No, Mr. Franks, candidates aren't there to fulfill my dreams. They're in office to spend my money wisely, honestly, and pass laws beneficial to the populace. Besides, my dreams include living in the Keys listening to Jimmy Buffet without a care in the world. Are you gonna make that one happen? And do I want candidates to live the life I never had? Is this you fishing for a raise next year? What is this, lifestyles of the rich and famous? Where's Paris Hilton when you need her? If that means that they'll get rich off of other people's suffering, off of the sweat of their neighbors, and live high on the hog because of it, the answer's a resounding "no" from this quarter.

* And by the way, to the young lady who wrote the article on Mr. Franks and his meeting with the CD's editorial board, their is no 'incumbent candidate,' despite what the rube in front of you at the time said.

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