It's the Little Things

You know the whole quote, from Pulp Fiction, when Vincent has just come back from Amsterdam and is talking with Jules. The gist of the conversation is that things are similar in Europe to the US, but with little things providing the differences, like "le Royale with Cheese" instead of a Quarter Pounder.

See, there's also a difference in the printed word and the spoken one. It's minor, but it's illustrated below. See, when you start to try to spin the spoken word, people can get cut off, they can miss key things. With the written word, there's less ambiguity-unless some reporter decides to make you look like an idiot.

With the spoken word, if someone misses something, you can pounce on it and win your argument fast, like a cheetah jumping an unsuspecting gazelle. You can make implications because others might not have even heard it at all. Sometimes you can catch someone so off-guard that they never recover.

But here's the thing. When you get all self-righteous on someone else's website, people can scroll down the page and see exactly what someone has written. Also, they can sit, dissect your argument, and basically pull your pants down a la Curly from the Globetrotters on an unsuspecting Washington General.

When you blow your top in public, you can come off as passionate. Of course, when you blow your top online, you can look like an idiot. Your rhetorical excesses don't always shine through when the audience can't interact with you; when you're writing, doing the same thing makes you look like you need anger management immediately. Kissing up to people who aren't there is never a winner, you know? Also, all caps: Maybe you think using them makes your point, and it can. However, using them too often can make you look like the Incredible Hulk.


They say never get into a war of words with a person who buys ink in bulk. Of course, one could question the wisdom of getting into a war of words with a guy who doesn't even have to buy ink. Heck, as long as I pay the internet and power bills, I can go on and on.

So remember, dear reader: It's the little things that make the US of A different than Europe, and it's the little things that make the Internet different than a podium at Ryan's Well. It may save you from looking like you are an amateur.

(Tomorrow, can I expect irate responses from people saying I denegrated the US and made fun of Ryan's Well? Possibly.)