Jim Hood Will Meet With Women Behind Closed Doors!

So will this guy.



Also, he will fight for an Equal Pay Act.

(The Equal Pay Act passed Congress in 1963, and was signed into law by President Kennedy, but since Jim Hood is just a good ole country boy that lives in the country, he doesn't know it. Things move slower out in the country, you see. Also, imagine the lawsuits his friends can file if he gets it passed! Win-Win!)

Seriously, though. You can't really win this fight. You either invite the controversy of not being alone with a woman, or you invite the possibility of scandal. There's only one solution in either the professional world or the political one in the age of "MeToo".



(Also, John Kennedy had some of his own issues with things that would be...less than charitably viewed today.)

Teacher Pay Raise

Jim Hood wants to "raise corporate taxes" to pay for a pay raise for teachers. Apparently, out in the country, where Jim Hood is from, remember, they didn't ever talk about the goose that laid the golden egg. In the last 16 years Mississippi has been able to attract businesses because of our low tax rate and favorable business climate, but hey, LEROOOYYYY JENKINS! to all that.

I have another funding source: All the attorney's fees that Mr. Hood has disbursed to his friends over the last decade and a half (and Mike Moore before him). When the state of Mississippi wins a lawsuit, it sure would be nice to get that money, instead of the guys that Jim Hood decides need to be able to fund his campaign make an honest living out there a-lawyerin', as they say out in the country, where Jim Hood is from.

In reality, the money is there. It's always been there. It just never actually reaches the teachers due to the bloat and bureaucracy that infests both the Mississippi Department of Education (Hi, Dr. Wright and your ridiculous salary!) and many of the school districts.

How come they never suggest cutting her $300,000 per year? I  know it's a drop in the bucket, but as a character in a movie once said, "What is an ocean, but a multitude of drops?"

So Samson Doesn't Know If He's Running For Governor

Yeah, listening to his interview about "large campaign donors" and "tax breaks for the corporations" tells me he's really leaning toward not running, you know?  SARCASM.

Since he's so unconcerned about social issues, here are a few business issues he should ask.

Should the power of the state be used to compel a person to violate their conscience?

Should the state have oversight of medical operations that require invasive procedures? (Like a certain Dr. Gosnell)

Should the state fine businesses for not using someone's "preferred pronouns?" (Yeah, that's the new thing. It's happening in New York)

Should the state start regulating churches and require that they deviate from their teachings and beliefs? (As was mentioned here on Wednesday in Iowa)

These are questions that an honest state media would ask him. But (spoiler) they won't. Instead, he'll get to pontificate and will always get the last word in. Unfortunately, his opponent will probably be Tate Reeves, who's probably woefully unprepared for the onslaught that he'll face. After all, Hood is pretty much it on the left. There's Brandon Presley, who really, really, really wants you to know about that no-call list, ya'll (The PSC is basically a remnant of the state's 1891 anti-business and, oh yeah, racist constitution, and like your appendix, it might need to come out at some point). But Hood's got the trial lawyers in his pocket, and they're gonna sink or swim with him.

I can see his announcement now. The groundwork has been laid, the move back to Houston, the little law office he's renting. Can't run as an outsider from Jackson, after all. The whole spiel about fighting the robber barons for the little guy. The faux-centrist but-really-trying-not-to-offend-Democratic-intrest-groups-while-not-offending-conservatives schtick. He's thought on it, he's prayed on it. He's going from Samson to Hamlet. He feels that he's got to, for the good of the state. All he'll be missing is R2-D2 with a hologram of the Princess saying he's our only hope.

I See the 42 Narrative Forming

See, people wanted to vote for 42.  After all, it got 58% of the votes!

Except...

It got 58% of the votes actually cast between the two amendments, which, as I write this is about 35K votes less than the vote to not amend the state constitution.  What they won't tell you is about 50K that voted not to amend at all didn't bother to vote for either (because if you don't want to amend the constitution, why vote for the lesser of two evils option? This question will not be answered, except perhaps in a brief, small paragraph at the end of stories).

It's confusing, and the Clarion-Ledger and its fellow travelers in the media/lawyer caucus will use that to muddy the waters in the coming years.  I imagine there were a lot of people who were intent on voting for 42, but took one look at the sticker price ($201 million), and put it back on the shelf.

Always remember the truth of this issue:  The Little Guy won, because all of the trial lawyers, education consulting firms, Gannet Media, and out of state money couldn't buy an election in Mississippi.  Even with an endorsement of the New York Times this morning (helpfully retweeted by a CL writer as a "workaround for Red-State Dems"), the underfunded Little Guy kept the trial lawyers out of education.

There's still more work to be done, for sure-Hood, it appears, will remain in his post for four more maddening years, in which the politically connected will get away with anything short of murder-but the tide was held back today.

Even the 42 Cheerleaders Can't Hide This

Daily Journal, Today

My journalist friends tell me this is called "Burying the Lede."

"But at the end of the day, no one can say for sure how any court will rule in the future, and so the tough question remains."

Repeat after me:  THIS IS NOT ABOUT MAEP.  There is no language about MAEP in the Amendment.  When law professors (who are, WAIT FOR IT...lawyers!) can't tell you what is going to happen with the law, you probably don't need to leave it in the hands of the county judges.  

But of course you should trust them.  After all, when has a lawyer or judge in Mississippi ever been corrupt?  Or incompetent?  Or both?  Or even just out for a quick buck?

Somebody should ask Bobby DeLaughter.  Or Dickie Scruggs.  Or Ed Peters.  I'm sure they'd be experts on that last question.

42...Strangely, Not the Answer to Everything

I'm perplexed that it's even come to this.

It's pretty obvious to anyone who's watched the 42 debate that the main purpose of the initiative is not to fund schools (with no budget cuts or tax increases, y'all!!!!) but to fund the Ronnie Musgrove Betterment Fund, and the Trial Lawyers.  At least to anyone who isn't a 42 supporter or a Clarion-Ledger writer-but I repeat myself.

Seriously, when Sid Salter is writing articles BEGGING people not to vote on 42, how much more of a red flag do you need?  I could go into all his reasons, but he puts it really well.  It is a straight up violation of the separation of powers, and creating an education czar (as if we don't have enough!) in the Hinds County courts.

Vote against 42.  Both 42s.

Ain't this Interesting?

Hood's Google Fishing Expedition

Does it surprise anyone that Samson is greasing the palms of his buddies, and doing the bidding of a powerful interest?

It works out for everyone:  Mike Moore gets paid, the MPAA gets to take Google down a peg, Jim Hood gets to run against a Corporation (that just happens to have all your search records)...win win right?  I'm sure when the campaign finance reports come down, there will be no money donated from MPAA types to Hood.

Speaking of which, has anyone noticed the Jim Hood pattern?  He's against cybercrime, he's against exploiting children, he's against abusing drugs...

Is there anyone out there who's actually FOR THOSE THINGS?  Other than criminals?  It's subtle, but the "If you're against Jim Hood, you're for all kinds of bad things" vibe is real.  

I expect this to be covered extensively by the relevant newspapers in Mississippi.*

* sarcasm.

Headline: Raging Egomaniac Calls It Quits

Dear People Blessed to Know An August Personage Such as Myself, Reaching the ripe and wizened age of three score and ten, and seeing the wonderful coverage that our hillbilly Bible-thumping football coach has recieved over the past several weeks, I have chosen this time to announce my retirement as Chancellor of the University of Mississippi. Because, let's face it: Nothing is bigger than ME. Not the Cotton Bowl win. Not the possible top 15 ranking for the football team. No, this is all about ME. I remember the good old days. On September 26, I hosted the presidential debate here at the Ford Center. Not anyone else. ME. I was like Jay Leno out there. Even better: I was like the golden god that Jay Leno prays to at night. It all came crashing down the next day. One day that Obama kid is kissing your ass, the next some Bible-thumping mouth-breather gets tackled a yard short of a first down and all MY press gets devoted to upsetting Florida. I WAS ANNOINTING BARACK OBAMA THE NIGHT BEFORE, PEOPLE! HE SOUGHT MY APPROVAL AND WISDOM! IF YOU THINK HE'S JESUS THEN I'M JOHN THE FREAKING BAPTIST! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOOK AT ME! Then they reel off some more wins. They beat Auburn and ULM. That would have been ok if they'd stopped there. But no, these idiots kept on winning. They beat LSU and then humiliated Mississippi State. Pretty soon the alumni are restless, what with all the talk about Nutt going to Auburn. God, I hate his name. What kind of coach is named Houston anyway? Robert is such a good name. Sometimes, I call God "Bob" cause its so wicked cool. That, and it's hard to imagine anyone more awesome than Bobby K, you know? Back on the subject: What were they worried about? I mean, my record hiring football coaches speaks for itself. Tuberville: I mean, talk about a visionary. I took all of his ideas about the football facilities and Pete and I passed them off as our own for over 10 years. Sure, mine and Pete's cheap ways caused him and his staff to bolt for Auburn, where he won 85 games over 10 years. What do you expect? The man was a grandstander, what with stuff like practicing in the parking lot to highlight how bad our facilities were. But we had the blueprints we'd use for years! And I GOT ALL THE CREDIT! Cutcliffe: I'll let you in on a secret: All I did was ask Archie who he wanted to coach the team. It was pretty easy. When Eli came in, we had the money to expand the stadium and make ME look good. And that's what's important. Plus, Cut was so easy to manipulate. When I told him to jump, he didn't even ask "how high?" I got him to pimp MY new state flag design (don't believe the hype. I designed it. Me. It was so awesome that if I took sole credit, people's heads would explode). Of course, when his usefulness was up, I gently cut him loose. But think about it: if he were such hot stuff, wouldn't he have a better job than Duke? Ed Orgeron: You know, it might LOOK bad on the outside. The bar fights. The restraining order. But the man sure could lay it on thick. Possibly the best flatterer I have EVER met, outside of myself. How else could you treat your own players so badly that they'd start a facebook group about how they were glad you were fired, and still recruit well enough to get a Cotton Bowl team out of it? Nutt: Ok, this was kind of like my drunken one-night stand that ended up in a Vegas wedding. Britney did it, so it must be ok. People pay attention to her! I still don't know how it happened. One minute I'm begging Dickie Scruggs and Richard Schwartz to foot the bill for Rick Neuheisel, the next he's doing his lame "Fun is spelled W-I-N stuff." Never did I think this guy was going to take us anywhere more exotic than Shreveport. Cut, by the way, has a winter home there, did you know that? And by winning 9 games in a year, this guy has more stroke than Tiger Woods. I even had the professor ask the question about the salary at the hiring press conference. I was sure it'd trip him up. But damn he's a smooth one; I had a problem on my hands with this one. And keep in mind, I brought Andy Kennedy in as the basketball coach without showing him a single picture of Tad Smith Coliseum! All of a sudden, Houston Nutt had the adoration and attention that should have been MINE. And that can't happen. Dammit, the law school's name is being changed from the only Mississippian to sit on the Supreme Court to MINE. Its my Great Pyramid. Pete Boone is being stuffed and placed on display there, just like the Pharaohs did with their loyal servants. I haven't told him that, so keep it on the down low. Ozymandias ain't got nothing on me. Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair. Do you know I had to give that Arkansas redneck a RAISE? Good Bob, do you know how much pine straw that could have bought? I'm thinking about starting a rumor that students can park on the Circle again. The ticket revenues should about cover it. Oh, the bad old days: Some kid from Memphis would be talking to his buddies out his car window and I'd have to wait to get to my parking space. Glad I solved that problem. Still haven't solved the Memphis problem. But hey, at least all those kids from Tennessee keep coming in and making our enrollment look good. So what if a third or so of our school comes from out of state? Its not like that says its easier to get in here than elsewhere. I mean, a million bucks buys a lot of brick. Sure, the academics haven't changed that much, but I've got a campus worthy of myself now. What does it matter that professors leave as long as pine straw gets brought in? I've got a place to watch operas (my Yale friends looked down on me for not having one nearby. I showed them-built my own right down the block!). I even had the brass to make sure that only a select few students got to go to opening night. They still love me. You know, Caesar Augustus found Rome a city of wood and left it a city of brick. And he's not as awesome as me. I had the stroke of a little social engineering too: The Honors College. You think its for the best and the brightest? It is. We're turning them into good little liberals all the time. We're feeding into their sense of self-esteem by telling them "Liberal Smart" and engaging them in groupthink activities. Perfect little robots, who will do my bidding long after I am weighed by Osiris' feather. Besides, this retirement will make people forget that a lot of the money I raised over the last fifteen years was tainted by some overblown judicial bribery thing. That'll blow over. After all, I, Robert Conrad Khayat, sent a letter to a judge for Dickie. ON UNIVERSITY LETTERHEAD BABY! It's so over. Dickie'll be back to his hijinks in no time. And I'll be back to flying in style on his plane. Best move I ever made, selling the name of that building to Dickie. He's such a card. The judge bribery is nothing. He's always talking people into doing things that might not be such a good idea. Once, he got Pete to eat a shoe. By Bob, it was hilarious. Pete put sauerkraut on it. He nearly cried. It'll be too bad if they actually lose their money. I haven't decided where in their backs I'll stick the knife when that happens. But I gotta do what's best for me. I gotta have people to use, you know? That's what you're all here for. Anyway, this retirement thing is sweet. I'm gonna show up one day in bermuda shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. Maybe grill some steaks in my Lyceum office. Maybe Dickie can come by. That's another thing I'm proud of: We built me not one, but TWO offices worthy of me. Too bad I had to give the Martindale one up. The view was sweet, especially when the sorority girls would go on jogs down Frat Row. Don't let the AARP card fool you. Bobby K got game. I make it rain. It is with a heavy heart that I announce my retirement as Chancellor of the University of Mississippi. I have used the position to stroke my ego immensely, and to have people see ME in the owner's box during Redskins games. Once Marty Stuart was performing on Thacker Mountain radio. I suckered him into letting me carry his guitar to the stage for him. That way, everybody in the audience got to see ME. At this time, with all the attention Houston Nutt has gotten, something must be done to remedy the lack of Bobby K in the public consciousness. With this retirement, I can assure that the front page of every newspaper and sports page has a smilin' pic of ME for a week. Regards, Swingin' Sexy Bobby K (PS that's my next move...to start using my rapper name...to keep people thinking about ME).

And We're Back

So one month later, we're back. And here at the Spot, we're not looking back at all. Yeah, the next four years are probably going to suck, but hey: We can always say we told you so, and hope for the best.

Thankfully, Intrepid Attorney General Samson has stepped up and decided to fish for another lawsuit. This is why we love him: Months after the price of oil started sliding he decided to start checking for price-gouging, wondering why there was a shortage of gas following a hurricane.

(Something tells me that the hurricane had something to do with it. I didn't even need a subpoena to come to that conclusion.)

Now, he's fishing again, this time with Entergy. I'm curious to which plaintiff's attorney is behind this, and which campaign contributor, I mean, civic-minded barrister, put the idea in Samson's mulleted cranium. This, despite the fact that the Public Service Commission actually regulates them, and should be handling things.

I love the get-rich-quick schemes these guys have come up with over the years. They've got Fred Flintstone and Ralph Kramden beat hands-down.

I Must Be Experiencing What They Call A Disconnect

Let me see if I understand this correctly after reading this morning's Clarion-Ledger story on potential voting problems.

Jamie Franks Jr, the Golden Boy himself, spent twelve years in the state legislature. During that time, he was responsible, according to him, for everything that came down the pike. But during this time, he never once thought about working on the labyrinth that is our state elections system?

Per Chairman Jamie this morning:

"The cavalcade of confusing and conflicting statements from state officials would baffle every lawyer from Matlock to Perry Mason and could lead to a frustrating experience Tuesday for many Mississippi voters," said Jamie Franks, chairman of the state Democratic Party.

Twelve years in public office, ladies and gentlemen, and this year it became a problem.

Remember that post I made about the Democrat strategy for Mississippi this year? That quote is the first shot being fired. The ground is being prepared to lay every bit of the blame on Secretary of State Hosemann when the whole thing plays out Tuesday. Let's be 100% clear: the "state officials" are all going to be in the Secretary of State's office, not the AG's. The prediction of a "frustrating experience...for many Mississippi voters" probably won't apply in Madison, Rankin, or DeSoto counties.

I called it last week. This is the shot across the bow by the Golden Boy.

Since Andy Taggart Started It

Here's another thing GWB is responsible for, Andy: John Edwards' love child.*

Mr. Rove wants us to pass this along: Shampoo When Wet Cleans Hair. This is all.

* Alleged. He is a lawyer after all.

Zach Scruggs to Appeal Sentence

In other news, everybody at Parchman protests that they are innocent.

Does Not Compute

For someone who apparently has never heard of Barack Obama, Monty Rushgrove sure does campaign like him.

Recently (a hat tip to my guys over at Mississippi Dish) he termed President Bush's visit to Mississippi for a Wicker fundraiser a 'distraction.' Yeah, because it might distract people to the fact that two guys who put approximately $250,000 in your coffers are in jail.

Is there anything inconvenient that isn't a distraction to you guys? Heck, the next thing you know, an election is going to be inconvenient.

These Are Desperate Times

After a year of terrible publicity, being kicked around (and deserving every sweet minute of it), and Conway Twitty look-alike contests, it seems that a few people whose family were served at the Sanctuary Hospice House are...a little upset with Intrepid Attorney General and State Rube Samson.

http://www.djournal.com/pages/story.asp?ID=271912&pub=1&div=News

Oh, Jimmy. You had to know better than this. Then again, desperate men will cling to any rope they can get ahold of when they're drowning. First it was the backdoor tort scheme, now this. Too little, too late: The shine has come off. Once the corruption genie is out of the bottle, all the indicting, posturing, and pouting in the world won't help.

But just to point it out: Can't make the DAs do anything about Scruggsquiddick, but you absolutely have to follow the edicts of a Lee County Grand Jury? Who exactly brings stuff before the Grand Jury? Do they go around solving crimes in a van? Do they play music? Does one wear an ascot? Do they have a talking dog?

How dumb do you think we are? Wait, don't answer that-we might actually get the truth.

For those of you who have to Prosecute Family (or People Who are Close Like That)....

The Theme From "All in the Family"

Boy, the way Conway Twitty played.
Songs that made the Hit Parade.
Guys like us, we had it made.
Those were the days!
Didn't need no oversight from the state.
Everybody paid his weight!
Gee, our old legal fees ran great.
Those were the days!
And you knew where you were then!
Lawyers were lawyers and friends were friends.
Mister, we could use an auditor like Patterson again.
People seemed to be content.
Ten thousand bucks bought the trail.
Defendants had no reason to smile.
Those were the days!
Take a little Sunday spin,
go to watch the Scruggs boys win.
Have yourself a dandy day cheating insurance men.
Trials were short and mullets were long.
So what if Bobby sold verdicts for a song?
I don't know just what went wrong!
Those Were the Days!

Jim Hood opposes Legal Fees Bill

In other shocking news, bank robbers support repealing laws against bank robbery. What's next, a Kennedy opposed to Designated Drivers?

Raise your hand, class, if you were expecting anything else. Without the money he funnelled to, I mean, was awarded to his criminal, I mean, legal advisors, is he the Attorney General and State Rube today? Is he living in a nice house in Crossgates or is he in a shack in Houston that looks more like mine? Is he getting his hair cut at a nice salon or is he getting it done at home with a flowbee? Come to think of it, I think the answer to that one's pretty obvious.

No, Samson is opposed to cutting of his political benefactors from what's looking more and more like a quid pro quo arrangement, and a circle of I pay you-you pay me-we pay the judges. I wonder if the man actually realizes how close he is right now to a bunch of guys who are rolling faster than those Minnesota lumberjacks on ESPN. Funny for a man whose cultivated image is of a guy quick to jump on any crime or slight toward the common man that he's been so slow to to do just that in this case.

I guess if they'd been accused of bribing a judge against one of his political buddies, though, he'd have jumped on them with both feet, thrown them in jail, and then bragged about 'setting an example' with the prosecution.