You Know, I Did It As A Joke

Barry Obama, Peace Be Upon Him, recently said he'd been the author of the Stimulus Package that went into effect over the summer. He was so instrumental, in fact, that he didn't even show up to vote on the measure, as he's been campaigning for President for about 2/3 of his Senate career (which is almost as much as Joe Biden has-badum-ching! Hey, remember Joe Biden?). If I was still doing the "Claim of the Day," this would be a good one to chalk up.

But why is it like this with Dems? Can't they just talk without the grandiose posturing and fact-stretching? Whether it was Misadventures on a Helicopter (Hil-Rod and Biden), Inventing the Internet, Christmas in Cambodia, or the numerous whoppers that the Golden Boy has served up, they all seem to want to be such a part of history that they write themselves in when there's no need to.

Obama is no different. He said his parents were brought together by the March on Selma-except he was 4 when it happened. Then there was the bill his Banking Committee authored...except he's not on the Senate Banking Committee. Kennedy and Kruschev had tea and crumpets and prevented WWIII...except the meeting actually made the Cuban Missile Crisis worse. The Berlin Wall was brought down by people working together (I suppose as long as he's talking about Ronald Reagan, George HW Bush, Margaret Thatcher, and Pope John Paul II, he's right).

It's a pathological need of Dems, one that I can't understand. Of course, most of them don't really understand history, so what can you expect when they invent their own?

Obama Will Require You To Work

So said his wife, several months ago.

Seems he's going to make good on that. As said today in Colorado:

12:18 p.m. "When it comes to second-language learners, the most important thing is not to get bogged down in ideology, but figure out what works," Obama says. "Everybody should be bilingual, or everybody should be trilingual." The comments drew loud applause.

http://www.dailycamera.com/news/2008/may/28/live-coverage-obama-colo/

This on the heels of last week's statement:

"We can't drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times ... and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK," Obama said.

So, to recap: You will be forced to learn Spanish (not the other way around, with Spanish-speakers learning English, of course) and another useful language (Arabic, maybe, for travel in a future Muslim Europe?), and will only be allowed as much food and fuel as the government (maybe ours, maybe not) thinks you need.

Where else have I heard of stuff like that? Oh, yeah:

Because, you know, it worked so well last time.

John 'French' Kerry wanted a global test on security. I suppose Barry Messiah wants a global test on how much beef you can consume.

It Wasn't Me (with apologies to Shaggy)

"It Wasn't Me"(feat. Barry Messiah)

(Yo', Barry) Yo'(Open up, Barry)
What do you want, man?(The constituents just caught me)
You let them catch you?(I don't know how I let this happen)
With who?(The folks in Mississippi, you know)
Man (I don't know what to do)

Say it wasn't you (Alright)

Election came in and they caught me red-handed
Creeping with the netroots next door
Picture this, we were both asking for money,
Obama on the internet, sure

How could I forget that they had
Googled all kinds of stuff on me
All this time they were standing there
They never took the eyes off me
How you can grant the folks access to your browser
Trespasser and a witness while they pull down your trousers

You better watch your back before it turns into a killer
Best for you and the situation not to call the Deaner
To be a true player you have to know how to play
If they say a night, convince them say a day
Never admit to a word when they say makes a claim
And you tell them baby no way

But they caught me on Internet Explorer (It wasn't me)
Saw me getting endorsed by Obama (It wasn't me)
I don't know if I voted for Kerry (It wasn't me)
WREG even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)
I was sweating down the shoulders (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)
Heard the sobs gettin louder (It wasn't me)
Can't wait til this is all over

Davis came in and he caught me red-handed
Pallin' around with the Dems next door
Picture this, we were both tryin' to get elected
Browsing in the internet world
I had tried to keep them
From what they was about to see
Why should they believe me
When I told them it wasn't me

Make sure they know it's not you and lead them on the right prefix
Whenever you should see them make the Conservative flex
As funny as it be by you, it not that complex
Seeing is believing so you better change your specs
You hope they're not gonna be worrying bout things from the past
Hardly recollecting and then they'll go for Jeremiah's mass
Wait for your answer: go over there
But if they pack a camera you know you better run fast

But they caught me on Internet Explorer (It wasn't me)
Saw me getting endorsed by Obama (It wasn't me)
I don't know if I voted for Kerry (It wasn't me)
WREG even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)
I was sweating down the shoulders (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)
Heard the sobs gettin louder (It wasn't me)
Can't wait til this is all over

Media came in and they caught me red-handed
Creeping with the Speaker next door
Picture this, we were both in elections,
gettin' in on the ground floor
How could I forget they had
Googled all this stuff on me
All this time they were standing there
Voters never took their eyes off me
Gonna tell them that I'm sorry
For voting for Gore and Kerry

I've been listening to your reasoning
It makes no sense at all
We should tell Nancy that I'm sorry
For the pain that I've caused
You may think that you're a player
But you're completely lost
That's why I sing

Election came in and they caught me red-handed
Creeping with the netroots next door
Picture this, we were both asking for money,
Obama on the internet sure
How could I forget that they had
Googled all kinds of stuff on me
All this time they were standing there
They never took the eyes off me
How you can grant the folks access to your browser
Trespasser and a witness while they pull down your trousers
They never took their eyes off me