Tuesday, May 20, 2008
LATE BREAKING NEWS
Today in Washington, Congressman Travis Childers chewed a pack of Juicy Fruit gum after being sworn in as the First District Congressman. Capital sources, on the condition of anonymity, stated that the Congressman's choice came down between Juicy Fruit, of the distinctive yellow wrapper, the eponymous Big Red, and the blue-clad Winterfresh. The new congressman chose Juicy Fruit because, to quote sources close to his staff, "the taste was gonna move him."